Indiana Jones and the Great Sadness

So, if you follow this blog, which you don't, you know that I went this morning to view the new installment of the Indiana Jones series, Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. If you have had even an instant of media interaction over the last year, you're probably aware of the films release.

I have voiced my fears going into this film previously. Sadly, for the most part, those fears panned out. I won't say that I hated it; I enjoyed it for what it was, but I still found myself groaning and laughing and things other than your typical sight-gag.

I must warn you that clicking "Read more..." will bring up a review that is filled with spoilers. Although it's not a definitive list of spoilers, you might find yourself frustrated having not seen the movie. This is one of those reviews you should only read AFTER you've seen the movie, and while I have problems with the movie, I still recommend that everyone see it. So, without further ado...

The story takes place in the late-50's. We find an aging Indy emerging from the trunk of a car on the business end of a mob of KGB guns, rather than Nazi's, since we're now embroiled in the Cold War. There are a few quips about his age, and a daring escape where the alien corpse from Roswell is stolen, the container of the Ark of the Covenant is broken and makes a cameo, and ends in Indy hiding in a lead lined refrigerator at ground zero of a U.S. nuclear bomb test.

Now, I'm all about the over the top nature of Indiana Jones, and I am a strong believer of the corny humor, but throughout the opening sequence, there's a running gag involving computer generated prairie dogs (the Paramount Mountain logo this time is transformed into a mound from which emerges one such critter).

Shia LaBouf is still not a very good actor. I've tried hard to enjoy his work, but I just can't do it. I'm driven crazy by a bit later in the film where he's up a tree, and follows the suit of a bunch of monkeys and swings vine to vine to catch up with the harrowing car chase well ahead.

Perhaps it is nit picky, but I was very upset by the fact that there were no truly gruesome (i.e. graphic) deaths, unlike the previous Indy films. I'm sure to many this seems like petty griping, but it just struck me as further proof that this franchise has failed on some level.

At first I was a little frustrated with the idea of a story based on space aliens with crystal based skeletal structures; their skulls seemingly retaining knowledge and powers. However, I was willing to accept it, and I did this for a couple of reasons. The first is that there have been tales of alien influence of ancient 'advanced' civilizations. The second is the plain and simple fact that I was willing to accept the Ark of the Covenant too, and really, if you wanna talk about things that are implausible, or simply unproven, the likelihood of God and the Ark of the Covenant seem as though on the same level.

(I'm just expressing a corollary between the unproven nature of aliens, atlantis, God, and the male multiple orgasm... any angry comments regarding this will likely be ignored.)

Since I've voiced opinions on other spoilers, I might well point out that Shia LaBouf plays Henry Jones III. In a stunning turn of events, we find that Indy and Marion Ravenwood had a child. I suppose that it's no less gimmicky than Sean Connery as Henry Jones, Sr. or the revelation that Indy is named after the family dog... but it still just seemed way too easy. (Also, the geriatric wedding at the end between Indy and Marion silly to say the least.)

Yet I have to admit that I was still entertained. Maybe I'm being too critical (although I think I should be allowed some leniency given that this series and I are very near the same age), but even with my frustration, I still felt a lot of the same excitement that I have for the previous Indy movies. There's still something about the swell of the fanfare with his trademark theme, something about the sound of his bull whip sizzling and cracking through the air, something about the way he delivers his lines that still just feels good.

So, do I recommend seeing it? Yes. Will I watch it again? Yes.

This movie is still an installment in one of the most beloved series of all time, and it still manages to do what it set out to do, which is entertain. I have to admit that I feel there's a certain level of greed in picking up this franchise after so long, but I do feel like this film really was created to entertain more than just make money.

Of course, your mileage may vary.