Recently I was writing a random ‘blog’ post to test settings on a podcast Mike and I have tentatively decided to work on which gave me pause. I poked fun at the fact that one oldest and best friends has a very poor memory for details, going so far as to say he suffers from anterograde amnesia.
Specifically I said:
…Mike and I did some discussing and recorded it. The process resulted in some interesting revelations.
First of all, let me tell you that I'm absolutely certain Mike is suffering from some form of anterograde amnesia. We mostly talked about how we met because Mike doesn't recall much of anything that happened before this morning. I'm not saying that I have a flawless memory, but it boggles my mind that he seems almost incapable of forming and retaining memories. It's strange how often I'll reference something and he'll tell me he has no recollection of the thing at all.
I used to feel insulted when this happened. He has blanket memories of feelings surrounding periods of our friendship, but when I mention something that happened, he'll be completely lost. I had thought, for a time, that this was simply because he didn't care enough about me and our friendship to retain memories. However, I've since learned that this isn't the case, or at least, it's not likely the case.
Oddly enough, he seems to have a nearly photographic memory of some things, like episodes of Scrubs, for example…
The truth is that I know he doesn’t actually suffer from such a malady, but after writing about it, it got me thinking about memory and history. I realized, after writing it, that there was a lot of things that I simply don’t remember, or at least don’t remember well. I’ve spent the last day or so considering my own history.
So, I submit a concise and utterly incomplete history of my friendship with Mr. Michael Dennis Baumann, part the first.
I met Michael on the school bus in fifth grade. My recollection is that he was sitting with another kid by the name of Mike Pemberton, and that the two of them, mostly Pemberton, made fun of me for some reason. At this point, however, I don’t recall why. Whatever the reason, though, I recall that they had talked about something that I was interested in, if pressed I would assume it was comic books.
My memory is that Mike as blonde haired with a side part and a colic in the back like Dennis the Menace and dressed like a prep in those polo shirts with the little alligators in the corner and docker khakis. Now, the fact is that he dressed nothing like that, but that’s how I remember him. It’s a far cry from how he looks now.
Although we didn’t start out fast friends, over the course of the school year, I believe we started talking and eventually he invited me to his house. It was either the summer following fifth grade, or at least near the end of the fifth grade school year as the weather was pretty nice.
The memory of the first time I went to his house stands out for me for several reasons. First, I had been living in a old apartment building down the road while his home was very nice by comparison. His bedroom was filled with nice things and toys. I won’t lie, I was a little jealous of his house and things. That, however, isn’t why the memory stands out to me.
The first time I went to Michael’s house, he and I hung out in his bedroom, which at the time was at the top of the stairs on the second floor, next to the upstairs bathroom. I recall that he said he needed to go to the bathroom, and he passed through the mirrored door to the adjoining bathroom (I recall being surprised that it was a door to a bathroom and not a closet). Once in the bathroom, he began to sing, “I am so great! I am so great! I am the greatest because I am so great!”
This went on for a very long time. I’d say around fifteen minutes, though my memory makes it seem much longer.
After that we hung out on a semi-regular basis. I would go to his place mostly, and we’d spend time in his bedroom talking about comic books and our own stories. Sometimes we’d spend time down in the family room playing Sega or using their blazing fast 486dx Packard Bell computer and their connection to the new and futuristic world of CompuServe.
We spent a lot of time playing Sonic the Hedgehog 2 and X-Men. We talked about X-Men and Wolverine. He mentioned recently that Mike Pemberton had a love for Gambit, but my memory was that he thought pretty highly of the Cajun Card Master himself. We’d discuss ideas we had for comics, he showed me a lot of his old artwork. At one point we came up for a codename for sex called “playing Sega”. We also spoke of a girl named named Candy that either one of us had heard of, or met, or simply invented, and she was meant to be quite attractive so that we talked of ‘Playing Sega with Candy in our mouths’.
It’s hard to believe how idiotic we were about things.
I also remember that, at the time, we listened to a lot of popular music, like Ace of Base and Counting Crows. I remember that we used sing along to Round Here and Mr. Jones, at one point he confided in me he’d thought the lyric of “cut-up Maria” was actually “color of Doritos”. We used to change the lyrics in The Sign and All That She Wants.
My memories always incomplete from that time, I still remember that it was the first time I’d ever heard the terms, “if you can’t keep it the pants, keep it in the family,” and “incest is best”. They were spoken by his sister, Kelly. I remember his golden retrievers J.D. and Otis. I remember that his house always smelled funny to me, which I think was a result of his mother’s use of potpourri and drying flowers and plants.
Our friendship has always had plenty of turbulence, though. I recall one event that shattered our friendship. We were intending to venture into the world of painting miniatures with a rather timid jumping off point of painting the figures that came with the Marvel Super Heroes Board Game. The argument revolved around the way we should paint Wolverine. This issue being that the lines and shape of the figure were from one era of his costume, there was another on the box, and yet another that it might have been. I believe I stood firm on the fact that the box and the figure were showing the old brown and yellow costume, and Mike believed the figure should be painted with the new yellow and black. Either way, we didn’t speak for several weeks after that.
It wouldn’t be the last blow-up we’d experience.
Throughout middle school my recollections are pretty fuzzy. He and I were friends, and we’d hang out, but we didn’t share a lot of classes. I try to recall when I was in the after school ‘writer’s club’ if he was there with me, and I really don’t recall. This is painful. I remember Dan Brown quoting The Simpsons and that he was really overly proud of his ability to remember the full name of Apu Nahasapeemapetilon.
I listened to a lot of Green Day at the time. Music was becoming a huge part of my life, especially punk and indie music. Mike and I became semi-estranged, as I was also bonding closely with another friend, Ray. While we hung out throughout middle school at Fred Moore in Anoka, I just don’t recall much from that time. This is where I’m able to cut him some slack about his own horrible memories. My recollections of a lot of things are strong from that time, but memories of my time with Mike is not.
Around 8th grade, however, I know we had a pretty long period of estrangement that was not the result of anger, as far as I can recall. I believe we simply went our separate ways. I do wish that I’d started keeping a journal then, or even before. I wish that I had the foresight necessary to know that I wouldn’t be able to recall things as well as I would have wanted.
He and I didn’t really reconnect until our Freshman year in high school. We talked and hung out but, very little. During the summer prior to 9th grade we were both in marching band, and through his older sister he had more friends there already. While I’m not certain, I think he also was somewhat not embarrassed, but wanting to interact with older students and more mature friends. I may also have represented his youth that he wanted to leave behind. I’m sure it didn’t help that I had started dating someone he had sort of dated for a short time before me although I had absolutely no idea of the fact.
During the school year, however, I remember that we reconnected due to a shared love of The Smashing Pumpkins. It turned out that he’d been very much into their double CD that had come out, Melon Collie and the Infinite Sadness. It was in the music room, probably during or after a Marching Band practice or perhaps after our music class that it came up. After that we talked more, hung out some. For a time in high school we were close again. We shared an art class and developed the character Madd Mann. We had grand plans for comic book ideas.
Fast forward a little while to when I met Laurel, who would become my wife. Mike and I talked and hung out, but we didn’t have the same connection we had before, and there was a bit of a rift that came from the fact that I was having some issues with my family at home.
I recall arguments about his ferrying Laurel and I around to each other as he had his license and a vehicle before I did. I also remember when Laurel lied about having to go home when the reality was that she and Mike went out to see the movie Pleasantville. He had no idea of what had happened, but it was a sore spot for me for a while.
In 1998, we went to Wizard World in Chicago. It’s one of those memories that stands out very strongly for me. It was a big deal. I still have, somewhere, the notes I took on digital coloring with Photoshop and inking.
Still, we hung out and listened to a lot of the same music. We both liked the Offspring, which is what led to our discovery of AFI who opened for them at First Ave. I remember that we both talked about and enjoyed a lot of horror movies. We grew apart, but we stayed together in a way. For a time we tried the punk rock thing, he and Ted Anderson and I. Though it never went far. I still have a lot of good memories from his basement bedroom.
I remember when I told him that Laurel was pregnant and that I intended to marry her. I remember the disappointment. I remember feeling horrible that I’d let my friend down.
He was at my wedding, his unique giant M based signature appears on the wedding certificate as a witness. After that we became close again, for a time. Though we didn’t hang out much. He was going to school and trying to live the life of a punk rocker. I think he was living in North East Minneapolis at the time, so close to the train tracks that you could practically touch the train when it went by.
During this time we spent a pretty good amount of time together, we’d talk and hang out. We’d watch movies and work on stories, and comics, and movies.
Always Mike and I schemed various things. Movies, novels, comic books.
Sadly, my recollections are so terrible that I cannot place many things in the correct order. Mike was dating Jenny at some point. He spent time working as an apprentice at Forever Yours tattoos in Anoka. It was there I trusted him to tattoo me. More than once. I will forever have his artwork on my person.
I remember that I’d been living in New Hope and he came over late one night as he sometimes did. We had been closer as friends then than we’d been in a long time, and I remember when he told me that Jenny was pregnant and that he was going to be a father. This was shortly after Laurel had become pregnant with our second child.
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That’s where I’ll end things for now. Perhaps when / if I come back with another installment, I’ll be able to more clearly recall events. It’s odd that I have a lot of memories that are there, but incidental. I have memories that are unrelated. Some are very clear, and some not so much. Of course, I’m trying to recall things that occurred over the last 20 years, and during pretty remarkable times in our lives. I’m hopeful that the act of remembering will help me. I, for some reason, feel really dark and lost when it comes to my past, and I would like to have those memories back, if possible. I don’t want to dwell on them, just hang on to them.
I may not remember everything clearly, but I do know that Mike has always been there for me as a friend, even when he’s not been around. Sure, he can be a moody bitch from time to time, but I’m not the easiest person to get along with either. Somehow he’s been able to tolerate me for almost two decades, and I him. He’s on a short list of people I would lay down my life for if it came down to it.
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