Post 350 - Customers are stupid

Everyone else writes about their crappy jobs... why shouldn't I?

During the day, I'm in retail management. I don't do it because I really love it, I do it because I'm paid pretty well to do something I'm pretty good at. However, working retail would be much better if it weren't for all the pesky customers. I do mean pesky, because most customers aren't a problem, it's the handful of idiots and self centered fools that sometimes makes it intolerable.

For some reason I don't often write about this stuff, but I figure now is as good a time as any...

Here's a couple from today.

Customer A -

Covering my cashier's break is usually not a big deal. I get parked at the front for a while and spend most of the time directing traffic, and rigning through customers. It's fun to be an extremely overpaid cashier from time to time.

But today a customer walks in and sets a book down on the counter in front me. She doesn't say anything.

Time out, I should really inform you that I've taken a hard stance on basic communication. I no longer respond to people waving things in my face, or saying single words as though they are a question (Customer, "Ink?" Me, "Are we playing some sort of word association game?")

So, here I am, a customer and a book in front of me. I've said hello. A few moments pass by and it's obvious the customer has no plans on making her intentions known verbally. So, I decide I should probably verify the situation and say, "Were you looking to return this?"

She replies with an obvious tone of annoyance, "Yes!"

Great. So, I pick up the book, from which a receipt is sticking out. A quick glance at the receipt shows that it is dated for the first part of March, 2008. Yes, 9 months ago. The most forgiving retailers offer 90 days, or 3 months for return on most items. We offer 30 days, and technically, we would classify this as media / software, and therefore it falls under a 14 day return policy.

I say, "I'm sorry, but I can't return this item, it's well past our return policy."

She grunts and says, "I called the store and they said it would be fine." You see, the receipt was for another location, which she says that she'd called.

I reply with, "Well, I'm not sure who you spoke with, but unfortunately I won't be able to return this item, you've had it for over 9 months."

She rolls her eyes, "This is ridiculous. I don't do this job anymore, I found it in my cabinet and I don't need it!"

Finally, frustrated, I reply, still calm as I always am, "Well, if you'd found it 8 months ago and brought it back to us, we'd have been glad to return it, but we won't be able to return it now."

She said something about my being an awful human being (I honestly don't remember what she said, and really don't care at all). I thanked her as she left.

I don't understand people. I really don't. I mean, I get that the economy sucks and that people are looking to do what they can, but still, this is beyond silly. It's a book. It's a book that she's had laying around for months, and now she doesn't want it and thinks that I we should just take it back for her.


Customer B -

The second customer after Customer A was a man who, after our transaction and general chit chat, said, "Thanks. It's not often you get great customer service from someone who is polite and efficient (yes he used the word efficient). Keep up the good work."

Now, this man was not around at the same time as Customer A. Amazing that I can get such a wide array of comments about my service.

Customer C -

It's later in the day, and one of my cashiers pages me to the front for assistance with a return. She says, "Customer will be waiting at Register 11". This tells me that I'm not coming up to turn a key, or provide a quick solution. No, this is foreboding. I'm coming up to 'deal' with a customer.

Here's the situation. The customer has a receipt from another location, which is dated in the last 3 weeks. On the receipt is two items, once is $24.99, and the other is $3.49. She used a special promotional coupon that is '$25 off a $25 purchase'. Her total came to $3.48 plus tax after said coupon.

She says, "I need you to do an adjustment because that item is $10 cheaper this week."

Immediately I see a fatal flaw, and I explain, "I can do that, but you'll end up owing us money, you got a much better deal with the coupon."

She stares at me for a moment, and then says, "No, you'd be giving me $10 back!"

Deep breath. "No, ma'am, you used a coupon that took $25 off a $25 purchase, if I take this item down by ten dollars, you're total purchase falls below $25, and your coupon no longer applies. You'd then owe me $15."

"No," she says, with a sharp tone, "I talked to such and such (at the location she bought the items from in the first place) and she told me it would be fine!"

Finally I says, "Alright, then you'll need to go to that location and speak with that person, I won't be able to do the adjustment without charging you another $15 since you won't qualify for the coupon anymore."

She snatches her receipt and takes a pen, turning over the receipt and very obviously scrutinizing my name badge. I shift it so it's easier for her to read, and she writes my name down after a moment of obvious surprise. She asks If I'm working tomorrow, and I reply, certainly, but I won't be able to do that adjustment tomorrow either, and I thank her as she leaves.

What I love about this is that she, much like Customer A, claims to have called the store before hand to verify the legitimacy of her transaction, and claims that she was told that everything would be alright. The problem is that there's a huge difference between, "I recently purchased an item and now it's $10 cheaper, can I come in and get a refund for the difference?" and "I purchased an item 3 weeks ago and now it's $10 dollars cheaper, however, I used a $25 off $25 purchase coupon, so I basically didn't pay for anything, and you'd actually just be paying me $10 for the privileged of having me as a customer." Similarly, I'm sure the average person can spot the difference between, "I have a book, and the receipt, am I able to return it?" and "I bought a book over 9 months ago and I just stumbled across it and now I want to return it, is that ok?"

Now, this is only a small sampling of what I deal with every day. In addition to these today, I had multiple geriatrics that apparently can't find anything on their own, even when right in front of them, or have enormous signs emblazoned specifically with what they want clearly visible from everywhere in the store. I had a customer ask me to help them find an accessory for a product, however they weren't able to tell me what it was, or the model of the product they needed it for, or even what type it was. And many more. Just today.

I don't understand how most of these people find their way out of their homes in the morning.