something a little more in line with what you might be used to around here. My younger daughter apparently brought home some form of flu, and of course she chooses now to demonstrate how well she's been taught to share. I spent most of the day laying in bed and running to the bathroom. It's been unpleasant. I'm still not feeling 100%, but I'm feeling a bit better.
Better enough that I thought I would do a little posting.
Bad Movies
Mike came and hung out the other night and we watched a movie called Awaken the Dead. We watched the entire thing in wonder of why someone would make it.
Meanwhile, today I started watching, but couldn't finish, a movie called See Jane Run.
Here's the deal. Why make these movies. I have nothing against low budget movies, or independent films. As a matter of fact, I absolutely love them. What I don't love, however, is when someone goes through all the trouble of making a movie that is not only bad, but adds absolutely nothing to a genre.
Mike said it best while we were watching, "Making movies is hard work, wouldn't you look at this and think, why did I do this? Wouldn't you say, 'Man, this is bad.'"
It's the truth. Bad acting is one thing, a lack of budget for big special effects, but a poorly written, poorly directed story that is completely disjointed and merely 'borrows' elements for many other movies.
I can forgive a lot for an independent / low budget movies. I understand the strains that you are under when it comes to filming that sort of movie. However, if you don't have a good story, if you don't add anything to the genre, if you're not doing anything that's new and/or different, then what is the point?
The thing that amazes me is that so ma
Alright...
I'm not feeling as well as I thought for... I'm going to lay down again.
As long as I don't die from this illness, I shall return.
Sunday, January 27, 2008
Today was a good day.
Today saw me ice fishing for the first time ever. I've done a lot of fishing in the past, but I've never done it in temperatures below 50° F. It was a fun experience and overall a great day.
Again, this is a post entirely about my life rather than the usual talk of things some people might actually be interested in. Feel free to skip on past this one if you'd like.
Melissa's father is one of those outdoorsy type guys. He loves to hunt and fish, snowmobile and generally spend his time outside doing things. Personally, I've always considered ice fishing to be one of those things that crazy people do. Why would you go and intentionally sit on a frozen lake in the cold just to catch fish?
Of course, you could basically say the same thing about fishing in general. You spend a bunch of money on gear, a license, and maybe a boat. You go and spend hours and hours with a line in the water. If you catch something, you'll never get enough to pay for your license, let alone everything else you've bought.
But, I know just as well that you don't go fishing as a hunter gatherer's method of providing for the family, you do it to get out and get away. I figure that if I enjoy going camping just to wander around the woods, there's probably nothing wrong with hanging out on the ice just to hang out on the ice.
So, with some level of trepidation, I agreed to go ice fishing. Melissa's father was going off to the lake which his brother's house over looks. It's a small lake in Hugo, MN.
When we'd got out there, Rich (her Dad), and Russ (her Uncle) had already gotten everything set up. We arrived to hear that they'd not really caught anything yet. There was talk of a small Northern that had gone back in, but nothing besides that.
Rich grabbed the auger and drilled out a couple holes, set up his other ice house, and handed us a couple poles and we were off. Most of their tip-ups were set for Northern and Bass, but Melissa and I set out with some grubs on the line, we were shooting for some Sunnies. At least, that's what we were told. I was just shooting for whatever might grab on my line.
Something I should mention, though, is that I've been fishing quite a few times. In that time there's been a common theme. The first is that whenever I fish, I get tangled. I don't just mean that I get occasional snags or little knots. I'm talking about the fact that I've probably ruined around 1/2 of all the reels that I've ever used because they were so tangled they couldn't even be cut apart. The second theme is that I just plain don't catch fish.
It's not a bad thing, I've learned to enjoy the fishing and stopped being disappointed years ago, but I think have a 'skunk' to catch ratio of about 15:1. I'm not trying to be funny, either, I seriously don't catch fish.
It didn't take long before Melissa pulled out a tiny little Sunny. I had to take the 4 wheeler back to the house to grab my camera I'd forgotten, so she let it swim around the hole for a while.
Shortly after we'd tossed the little guy back, I ended up with a nibble. Thinking I had another Sunny on the line, but when the thing started trying to pull me into the hole, I knew I had something good. What I pulled out of the hole was a decent sized Bass. It came out of the hole, and suddenly the hook tore through it's lip and fell immediately back into the hole. It was ok, and of course you always have to have a story about the one that got away.
Shortly after, a few flags went up, one of which yielded a little Bass for Rich, after which Melissa and I took the 4 wheeler for a spin. We got back, had some hot chocolate and started back at it. Nothing was biting. Nibbling, yes, but not biting.
The sun started to go down, so we were told that it would be best switch to minnows an start aiming for Crappies. Again, as before, it didn't take long before Melissa pulled out another fish. Her Crappie was photographed and dropped down the hole.
Just a short time later, I was pulling a little Crappie out myself. It was small, and funny. I dropped it back and in the hole.
We sat with the lines in for another 20 minutes or so before we started packing it in. It was dark and now very cold, so we high tailed it out of there.
Once safely back at the house we dined on an excellent meal that Melissa's aunt prepared. It included hot roast beef and au jus (my apologies, I'm not sure if I've spelled that correctly) , chicken and wild rice soup and was capped off with a delicious chocolate cake with ice cream, and slice of chocolate raspberry truffle from Culvers.
This was followed by some conversation around the table and was overall just a good day.
It was one of those days that I don't normally get to experience. It was a nice break from my normal routine and, for a while anyway, it took my mind off the looming doom that hangs around me.
Again, this is a post entirely about my life rather than the usual talk of things some people might actually be interested in. Feel free to skip on past this one if you'd like.
Melissa's father is one of those outdoorsy type guys. He loves to hunt and fish, snowmobile and generally spend his time outside doing things. Personally, I've always considered ice fishing to be one of those things that crazy people do. Why would you go and intentionally sit on a frozen lake in the cold just to catch fish?
Of course, you could basically say the same thing about fishing in general. You spend a bunch of money on gear, a license, and maybe a boat. You go and spend hours and hours with a line in the water. If you catch something, you'll never get enough to pay for your license, let alone everything else you've bought.
But, I know just as well that you don't go fishing as a hunter gatherer's method of providing for the family, you do it to get out and get away. I figure that if I enjoy going camping just to wander around the woods, there's probably nothing wrong with hanging out on the ice just to hang out on the ice.
So, with some level of trepidation, I agreed to go ice fishing. Melissa's father was going off to the lake which his brother's house over looks. It's a small lake in Hugo, MN.
When we'd got out there, Rich (her Dad), and Russ (her Uncle) had already gotten everything set up. We arrived to hear that they'd not really caught anything yet. There was talk of a small Northern that had gone back in, but nothing besides that.
Rich grabbed the auger and drilled out a couple holes, set up his other ice house, and handed us a couple poles and we were off. Most of their tip-ups were set for Northern and Bass, but Melissa and I set out with some grubs on the line, we were shooting for some Sunnies. At least, that's what we were told. I was just shooting for whatever might grab on my line.
Something I should mention, though, is that I've been fishing quite a few times. In that time there's been a common theme. The first is that whenever I fish, I get tangled. I don't just mean that I get occasional snags or little knots. I'm talking about the fact that I've probably ruined around 1/2 of all the reels that I've ever used because they were so tangled they couldn't even be cut apart. The second theme is that I just plain don't catch fish.
It's not a bad thing, I've learned to enjoy the fishing and stopped being disappointed years ago, but I think have a 'skunk' to catch ratio of about 15:1. I'm not trying to be funny, either, I seriously don't catch fish.
It didn't take long before Melissa pulled out a tiny little Sunny. I had to take the 4 wheeler back to the house to grab my camera I'd forgotten, so she let it swim around the hole for a while.
Shortly after we'd tossed the little guy back, I ended up with a nibble. Thinking I had another Sunny on the line, but when the thing started trying to pull me into the hole, I knew I had something good. What I pulled out of the hole was a decent sized Bass. It came out of the hole, and suddenly the hook tore through it's lip and fell immediately back into the hole. It was ok, and of course you always have to have a story about the one that got away.
Shortly after, a few flags went up, one of which yielded a little Bass for Rich, after which Melissa and I took the 4 wheeler for a spin. We got back, had some hot chocolate and started back at it. Nothing was biting. Nibbling, yes, but not biting.
The sun started to go down, so we were told that it would be best switch to minnows an start aiming for Crappies. Again, as before, it didn't take long before Melissa pulled out another fish. Her Crappie was photographed and dropped down the hole.
Just a short time later, I was pulling a little Crappie out myself. It was small, and funny. I dropped it back and in the hole.
We sat with the lines in for another 20 minutes or so before we started packing it in. It was dark and now very cold, so we high tailed it out of there.
Once safely back at the house we dined on an excellent meal that Melissa's aunt prepared. It included hot roast beef and au jus (my apologies, I'm not sure if I've spelled that correctly) , chicken and wild rice soup and was capped off with a delicious chocolate cake with ice cream, and slice of chocolate raspberry truffle from Culvers.
This was followed by some conversation around the table and was overall just a good day.
It was one of those days that I don't normally get to experience. It was a nice break from my normal routine and, for a while anyway, it took my mind off the looming doom that hangs around me.
Saturday, January 26, 2008
I hate being placated.
This is something I've been meaning to write for a while. It isn't my typical opinion of things you might be interested in mumbo jumbo, so if that's why you're here, you can go ahead and skip this post, it will be of no interest to you whatsoever.
I'm tired. I'm sick and tired. I started writing years ago as an outlet. Occasionally I've had the courage to write about the things that really need to come out, about the things that aren't just about me, but of me. It has been a long time since I've been able to do that, though, so I suppose that I'm about due.
It helps that I've had a chance to read some of Michael's words, and many of them cause me to recall elements of my life. Some of them good, some of them bad. It's hard, though, because there's so many things that have built up inside of me over the years that I really don't know how to let them out. It's probably best that I don't, at least not all at once.
I'm tired of being placated. It's always something, or someone that tells me what I want to hear, the things that allow them to get to the next step, and then we'll deal with everything when it comes up. My job is a great example of this.
I've been in management for years. I've had good jobs, but for reasons I don't want to get into, I don't have them anymore. Now I've got this job. I'm below my level. It's obvious to everything there that I'm below where I should be, below the level that I interviewed for when I first tried to get the job. initially they wanted to put me into a position that was even further down the totem pole than I am now. I basically told them to go fuck them selves in the nicest way possible. The next day I got the call asking me to come in at near the level I wanted, it was open for advancement, it wouldn't take long.
It's been years now. I've been there for two years and whenever I inquire about moving up, moving on, moving beyond, I hear the same thing: "Soon". The word soon, for the most part, is one of the only words I seem to get from anyone, anywhere. I get heat because I don't work at the level I'm supposed to be at, but at the level I'm being paid for. I'm not sure why it's so hard for people to understand, but I can't see any reason to work harder for less, especially after years of hearing, "just a few weeks, another month or two. You're time is coming."
I've received recognition from superiors that are up the ladder high enough it has become something more of an escalator. One instance included, and I quote, "Stephen is more than ready for the next level, start training a replacement."
They're still not training a replacement, unless it's some secret project in another location that I'm just not privy to. But really, I don't expect someone to jump out of the cake one day soon and shout, "Surprise, you've finally been promoted!"
So, you might wonder, why don't I move on, surely someone else will gladly take me if I'm so exceptional?
That's a great idea, but as a single father supporting myself, my two children and my disabled mother, I don't have a lot of options. I can't even see myself trying to wait out the gap between the last paycheck and first paycheck at the new company. Beyond that, I don't feel that I have a lot of free time to go job hunting. Sure, I can sit here at night, after the kids are asleep, and I can blog, but most people in my field aren't interested in setting up a job interview at 1 o'clock in the morning.
Damn.
Financially, I'm in dire straights. These are terms I've come to. I need to make a change, and soon. I hate what I have to do with every fiber of my being, but I also hate the fact that within a few months I'll lose my home, my car, and probably everything else that I hold dear. A few months, by the way, is a pretty generous estimation, I'm not sure I'm going to make the payment on the first yet.
So Wednesday I will see an attorney. Actually, I'll probably be seeing a paralegal or aide of some kind, because I can't imagine that law offices specializing in bankruptcy actually have enough lawyers waiting around all day to interview everyone who has reached the end of the tether.
In my case, I'm pretty sure there's not so much a tether as I'm now literally tied at the stake.
Fuck.
There are things in my life that make me happy. Some of them more than others, but they are there. Normally, writing makes me happy, which is why I try to do it so frequently, even though I usually fail to spill out the things I really want to say. Normally, watching a movie or listening to music makes me happy, and so both are commonly occurring in my life, as time allows. My children make me happy, though I sometimes feel somewhat out of touch with them, they're already getting so much older every day that I worry about the day I lose them. My girlfriend makes me happy, but with all the strain of financial burden, and having my mother living in my home, our relationship sometimes seems to be hanging on only by a thread.
From that paragraph, you may notice a trend. There are a lot of things that make me happy, yet there's a lot of commas separating me from them. That doesn't mean I'm not happy, it just means that it comes with some caveats.
I worry. Although sometimes I think I don't worry near enough. I find myself often detached from emotions I feel should exist within me. Emotions that I imagine exist in most everyone else. It doesn't mean I don't feel, I just don't know if I feel right.
I worry about being alone. I've lost a lot in my life, I've made choices that were poor, at best. Now, as I sit here, the overwhelming fear that I'll end up alone consumes me, as it often does. I think, in my mind, that this can't be. I can't ever really be alone. But what I think and what I feel aren't always the same. My mind might tell me that you've got a girl that loves you, but at the same time I feel a deep rooted fear that she's not with me for the long term. My mind tells me that my children love me, but I fear that one day they'll discover their father isn't the magical destroyer of closet monsters they've idolized their whole adolescent life. I fear, too, that they might be whisked away by their mother, a woman who has left a slash mark through so many components of my life that I have a hard time as seeing her as a person, but more an evil presence that looms over me.
I feel pain. I feel a lot of pain, and I feel it in places that I don't think should hurt. I'm fairly certain that I have problems that are completely undiagnosed. Why is it, then, that I don't do anything about it? Why do I continually feel these pains, and yet I never see a doctor. Why do I feel this looming depression and never visit a therapist, a psychiatrist? I'm not sure. Apart from the fact that I'm not sure I can even afford the copays, maybe I just fear that I don't know where to start. Maybe I've lived with the problems for so long that I don't know if or when the healing can begin.
My death is imminent. There's nothing I can do about it. Taxes might not catch up with me for a while, but I know that death is always waiting around the bend. My older daughter has a classmate whose father just passed away. It's hard for your second grader to come to you with hidden feelings of terror that someone in her life could actually be ripped away from her at any moment. It's hard as a father to try and dissuade that fear because that same fear grips me night and day. I remember when I was younger, I never feared death would come. Now, I am always worried about the wheres and whens. Not just for my own life do I worry, but for that of my children, my mother, my girlfriend, and all of the people in my world that I care about.
Yes, my own life could end at any moment, and there was a time before there was anyone depending on me that I just didn't care. Even now, though, I have enough life insurance that it might actually be better if I were to die now, because my children would actually be better taken care of financially than I can foresee them being under the current regime. Yet I don't want to go, not yet. I feel that I'm one of those people that will gladly accept it when the time comes, when I'm old and grey, my kids are self sufficient, my affairs are in order, but right now, I'm just not ready.
Maybe what I need is a legacy.
Something to leave behind.
And I don't mean on my blog.
Where is the security that I seek? I knew, even when I was younger, that the real world was a scary place. I used to watch the things my mother had to do to make ends meet, and even as a child I knew that she was always a hair widths away from having the world come crashing down. I've tried to thank her for everything she did then, and everything that she does now, but I just don't think there are enough words.
That isn't to say that everything is just dandy though. My mother is, for all intents and purposes, crazy. I don't mean clinically psychotic by any means, and certainly for a woman in her position, forced to live with her son because she's disabled and can't find a job in her field, I can't blame her. She's gone a little stir crazy, and at her age, with her various convictions, she's also very opinionated. Again, I can understand this, and I think I handle a lot of things she says with plenty of grace. She's not afraid to tell me what she thinks of decisions that I've made, decisions that I'm making. While she knows that she can't make them for me, it won't stop her from putting it out there for me to see. This can, of course, make for an uncomfortable dynamic at times, especially for those that aren't used to it. A good example would be my girlfriend, which is funny in and of itself... I got it from somewhere, didn't I?
I have hope. I have hope like you wouldn't believe. To me, there's got to be a point where things change. Laws of nature dictate that for every action there has to be an equal and opposite reaction. I expect, perhaps, that series of actions that have kicked me into the dirt where I am have to be about ready to give way to a nice long string of upward motion.
Thoughts come at me most of the time in a way that make it loud in my head, much like being in a night club with the way-too-loud music blaring. The inside of my head is the kind of place you might go to try and pick up chicks, even though you'll never be able to carry on a conversation with them over the rhythmic thump-thump-thump of the bass.
The thoughts that come at me are distracting. They often mute the things that are going on around me, leaving my body in a near autopilot mode, going about my day, trying to get from point to point until it is over and I start over again. These thoughts are often about my situation, sometimes they're just memories of things that are never quite clear (Maybe that one time in high school when I tried to kiss a girl after school to find that she was confused by my intentions so that she ran off, nearly in tears, and I was later confronted by her friends because I hadn't called her in over a month. How exactly to explain that you haven't called a girl because when you tried to kiss her and ran off you decided she just wasn't that into you? Really, though, it turns out that she was into me, just had never had the kind of relationship where you hang out after school and kiss. I wonder what that relationship might have been if I'd played my cards just a little differently. Perhaps, too, it could be another high school memory of the time your girlfriend broke up with you by putting a note in your backpack but you never found it, and couldn't understand why she didn't seem to want to talk to you anymore. Of course we got back together, only so that she could cheat on me a couple more times.), maybe they're just story ideas. Story ideas that are sometimes as clear as if I'm living them at the time, sometimes fuzzy, hazy, almost incoherent images.
What does all of this mean? Not a whole hell of a lot to most people. You can take it at face value, you can analyze it and decide you know who I am. You can look at it and say, "it could always be worse." In the end, though, these are just some of the many things that are inside me, and sometimes it seems like they just need to come out.
Meanwhile, I've been awake since 5 o'clock yesterday morning, and I'm more than just a little ready to try and sleep. Perhaps, though it's not very likely, perhaps I will again try and vent my life.
I'm tired. I'm sick and tired. I started writing years ago as an outlet. Occasionally I've had the courage to write about the things that really need to come out, about the things that aren't just about me, but of me. It has been a long time since I've been able to do that, though, so I suppose that I'm about due.
It helps that I've had a chance to read some of Michael's words, and many of them cause me to recall elements of my life. Some of them good, some of them bad. It's hard, though, because there's so many things that have built up inside of me over the years that I really don't know how to let them out. It's probably best that I don't, at least not all at once.
I'm tired of being placated. It's always something, or someone that tells me what I want to hear, the things that allow them to get to the next step, and then we'll deal with everything when it comes up. My job is a great example of this.
I've been in management for years. I've had good jobs, but for reasons I don't want to get into, I don't have them anymore. Now I've got this job. I'm below my level. It's obvious to everything there that I'm below where I should be, below the level that I interviewed for when I first tried to get the job. initially they wanted to put me into a position that was even further down the totem pole than I am now. I basically told them to go fuck them selves in the nicest way possible. The next day I got the call asking me to come in at near the level I wanted, it was open for advancement, it wouldn't take long.
It's been years now. I've been there for two years and whenever I inquire about moving up, moving on, moving beyond, I hear the same thing: "Soon". The word soon, for the most part, is one of the only words I seem to get from anyone, anywhere. I get heat because I don't work at the level I'm supposed to be at, but at the level I'm being paid for. I'm not sure why it's so hard for people to understand, but I can't see any reason to work harder for less, especially after years of hearing, "just a few weeks, another month or two. You're time is coming."
I've received recognition from superiors that are up the ladder high enough it has become something more of an escalator. One instance included, and I quote, "Stephen is more than ready for the next level, start training a replacement."
They're still not training a replacement, unless it's some secret project in another location that I'm just not privy to. But really, I don't expect someone to jump out of the cake one day soon and shout, "Surprise, you've finally been promoted!"
So, you might wonder, why don't I move on, surely someone else will gladly take me if I'm so exceptional?
That's a great idea, but as a single father supporting myself, my two children and my disabled mother, I don't have a lot of options. I can't even see myself trying to wait out the gap between the last paycheck and first paycheck at the new company. Beyond that, I don't feel that I have a lot of free time to go job hunting. Sure, I can sit here at night, after the kids are asleep, and I can blog, but most people in my field aren't interested in setting up a job interview at 1 o'clock in the morning.
Damn.
Financially, I'm in dire straights. These are terms I've come to. I need to make a change, and soon. I hate what I have to do with every fiber of my being, but I also hate the fact that within a few months I'll lose my home, my car, and probably everything else that I hold dear. A few months, by the way, is a pretty generous estimation, I'm not sure I'm going to make the payment on the first yet.
So Wednesday I will see an attorney. Actually, I'll probably be seeing a paralegal or aide of some kind, because I can't imagine that law offices specializing in bankruptcy actually have enough lawyers waiting around all day to interview everyone who has reached the end of the tether.
In my case, I'm pretty sure there's not so much a tether as I'm now literally tied at the stake.
Fuck.
There are things in my life that make me happy. Some of them more than others, but they are there. Normally, writing makes me happy, which is why I try to do it so frequently, even though I usually fail to spill out the things I really want to say. Normally, watching a movie or listening to music makes me happy, and so both are commonly occurring in my life, as time allows. My children make me happy, though I sometimes feel somewhat out of touch with them, they're already getting so much older every day that I worry about the day I lose them. My girlfriend makes me happy, but with all the strain of financial burden, and having my mother living in my home, our relationship sometimes seems to be hanging on only by a thread.
From that paragraph, you may notice a trend. There are a lot of things that make me happy, yet there's a lot of commas separating me from them. That doesn't mean I'm not happy, it just means that it comes with some caveats.
I worry. Although sometimes I think I don't worry near enough. I find myself often detached from emotions I feel should exist within me. Emotions that I imagine exist in most everyone else. It doesn't mean I don't feel, I just don't know if I feel right.
I worry about being alone. I've lost a lot in my life, I've made choices that were poor, at best. Now, as I sit here, the overwhelming fear that I'll end up alone consumes me, as it often does. I think, in my mind, that this can't be. I can't ever really be alone. But what I think and what I feel aren't always the same. My mind might tell me that you've got a girl that loves you, but at the same time I feel a deep rooted fear that she's not with me for the long term. My mind tells me that my children love me, but I fear that one day they'll discover their father isn't the magical destroyer of closet monsters they've idolized their whole adolescent life. I fear, too, that they might be whisked away by their mother, a woman who has left a slash mark through so many components of my life that I have a hard time as seeing her as a person, but more an evil presence that looms over me.
I feel pain. I feel a lot of pain, and I feel it in places that I don't think should hurt. I'm fairly certain that I have problems that are completely undiagnosed. Why is it, then, that I don't do anything about it? Why do I continually feel these pains, and yet I never see a doctor. Why do I feel this looming depression and never visit a therapist, a psychiatrist? I'm not sure. Apart from the fact that I'm not sure I can even afford the copays, maybe I just fear that I don't know where to start. Maybe I've lived with the problems for so long that I don't know if or when the healing can begin.
My death is imminent. There's nothing I can do about it. Taxes might not catch up with me for a while, but I know that death is always waiting around the bend. My older daughter has a classmate whose father just passed away. It's hard for your second grader to come to you with hidden feelings of terror that someone in her life could actually be ripped away from her at any moment. It's hard as a father to try and dissuade that fear because that same fear grips me night and day. I remember when I was younger, I never feared death would come. Now, I am always worried about the wheres and whens. Not just for my own life do I worry, but for that of my children, my mother, my girlfriend, and all of the people in my world that I care about.
Yes, my own life could end at any moment, and there was a time before there was anyone depending on me that I just didn't care. Even now, though, I have enough life insurance that it might actually be better if I were to die now, because my children would actually be better taken care of financially than I can foresee them being under the current regime. Yet I don't want to go, not yet. I feel that I'm one of those people that will gladly accept it when the time comes, when I'm old and grey, my kids are self sufficient, my affairs are in order, but right now, I'm just not ready.
Maybe what I need is a legacy.
Something to leave behind.
And I don't mean on my blog.
Where is the security that I seek? I knew, even when I was younger, that the real world was a scary place. I used to watch the things my mother had to do to make ends meet, and even as a child I knew that she was always a hair widths away from having the world come crashing down. I've tried to thank her for everything she did then, and everything that she does now, but I just don't think there are enough words.
That isn't to say that everything is just dandy though. My mother is, for all intents and purposes, crazy. I don't mean clinically psychotic by any means, and certainly for a woman in her position, forced to live with her son because she's disabled and can't find a job in her field, I can't blame her. She's gone a little stir crazy, and at her age, with her various convictions, she's also very opinionated. Again, I can understand this, and I think I handle a lot of things she says with plenty of grace. She's not afraid to tell me what she thinks of decisions that I've made, decisions that I'm making. While she knows that she can't make them for me, it won't stop her from putting it out there for me to see. This can, of course, make for an uncomfortable dynamic at times, especially for those that aren't used to it. A good example would be my girlfriend, which is funny in and of itself... I got it from somewhere, didn't I?
I have hope. I have hope like you wouldn't believe. To me, there's got to be a point where things change. Laws of nature dictate that for every action there has to be an equal and opposite reaction. I expect, perhaps, that series of actions that have kicked me into the dirt where I am have to be about ready to give way to a nice long string of upward motion.
Thoughts come at me most of the time in a way that make it loud in my head, much like being in a night club with the way-too-loud music blaring. The inside of my head is the kind of place you might go to try and pick up chicks, even though you'll never be able to carry on a conversation with them over the rhythmic thump-thump-thump of the bass.
The thoughts that come at me are distracting. They often mute the things that are going on around me, leaving my body in a near autopilot mode, going about my day, trying to get from point to point until it is over and I start over again. These thoughts are often about my situation, sometimes they're just memories of things that are never quite clear (Maybe that one time in high school when I tried to kiss a girl after school to find that she was confused by my intentions so that she ran off, nearly in tears, and I was later confronted by her friends because I hadn't called her in over a month. How exactly to explain that you haven't called a girl because when you tried to kiss her and ran off you decided she just wasn't that into you? Really, though, it turns out that she was into me, just had never had the kind of relationship where you hang out after school and kiss. I wonder what that relationship might have been if I'd played my cards just a little differently. Perhaps, too, it could be another high school memory of the time your girlfriend broke up with you by putting a note in your backpack but you never found it, and couldn't understand why she didn't seem to want to talk to you anymore. Of course we got back together, only so that she could cheat on me a couple more times.), maybe they're just story ideas. Story ideas that are sometimes as clear as if I'm living them at the time, sometimes fuzzy, hazy, almost incoherent images.
What does all of this mean? Not a whole hell of a lot to most people. You can take it at face value, you can analyze it and decide you know who I am. You can look at it and say, "it could always be worse." In the end, though, these are just some of the many things that are inside me, and sometimes it seems like they just need to come out.
Meanwhile, I've been awake since 5 o'clock yesterday morning, and I'm more than just a little ready to try and sleep. Perhaps, though it's not very likely, perhaps I will again try and vent my life.
Friday, January 25, 2008
7 Minutes
I have seven minutes to write before I need to hit the shower and head to work. Now it's only six, so I think I'd better get right to it.
'B' Movie
I watched Bee Movie last night with the girlfriend. At first I chuckled at some things, I think I once even laughed out loud. Then I got past the mid-point and suddenly I realized that Seinfeld, after all the time he spent writing it, really had no idea how to end his story, because what happens as we come to the end is disjointed, makes very little sense in comparison to the rest of the film, and for the most part not funny. This sums up my opinion about it.
I know, we're talking about a CGI movie, but I've read interviews with Jerry Seinfeld where he talks about how long he's been working on this project, with literally thousands of re-writes and all of himself being poured in. The final product though, in my opinion, is just worthless after you've crossed the threshold into the third act.
Admittedly, I despise Jerry Seinfeld, but I figured I could at least tolerate this, and for the most part, I could. The beginning of the movie actually surprised me, I didn't expect it to be more than the dry, mundane humor he's so famous for. But once you start approaching the third act of the story, the jokes slow down and there's a complete change in the tone and telling of the story. When all is lost, there's really no more logic. While silly, much of the beginning made sense, and even the second act was fun enough that you were ok with it, but when you reach the third act and the jokes slow to a trickle, you're forced to realize that it makes no sense, and is ultimately just stupid.
HAL + GLaDOS = LARFS
xkcd is still the BEST web comic around.
(For those of you who are stupid... this comic revolves around 2001: A Space Odyssey and Portal: The Best Game Ever)
'B' Movie
I watched Bee Movie last night with the girlfriend. At first I chuckled at some things, I think I once even laughed out loud. Then I got past the mid-point and suddenly I realized that Seinfeld, after all the time he spent writing it, really had no idea how to end his story, because what happens as we come to the end is disjointed, makes very little sense in comparison to the rest of the film, and for the most part not funny. This sums up my opinion about it.
I know, we're talking about a CGI movie, but I've read interviews with Jerry Seinfeld where he talks about how long he's been working on this project, with literally thousands of re-writes and all of himself being poured in. The final product though, in my opinion, is just worthless after you've crossed the threshold into the third act.
Admittedly, I despise Jerry Seinfeld, but I figured I could at least tolerate this, and for the most part, I could. The beginning of the movie actually surprised me, I didn't expect it to be more than the dry, mundane humor he's so famous for. But once you start approaching the third act of the story, the jokes slow down and there's a complete change in the tone and telling of the story. When all is lost, there's really no more logic. While silly, much of the beginning made sense, and even the second act was fun enough that you were ok with it, but when you reach the third act and the jokes slow to a trickle, you're forced to realize that it makes no sense, and is ultimately just stupid.
HAL + GLaDOS = LARFS
xkcd is still the BEST web comic around.
(For those of you who are stupid... this comic revolves around 2001: A Space Odyssey and Portal: The Best Game Ever)
Thursday, January 24, 2008
What point....
There's a few things that I feel like rambling about today, most of it will probably be only of interest to a select few people. If you are one of these people, then I welcome you. If you are not one of these people, dig in a little, I'm sure you'll find something you'll like.
And with that...
Pizzaria Chips
I have to state emphatically that this bit will probably only interest a few people.
I loved Pizzaria chips. It was one of the few things that I would beg my mom for every time we went to the store, and for the most part, she would willingly cave in and buy me some even though they were horribly over priced in comparison to other chip brands in the aisle.
If you're not familiar with these, they are / were a pizza flavored chip made by Keebler. They were made from actual pizza dough, and then dusted with actual pizza flavoring. They came in a variety of pizza flavors, my favorite being "supreme".
Perhaps it's just memories of sitting on the couch and stuffing handfuls of these things down my gullet while watching Darkwing Duck and Ducktales, but I can't remember an unhappy time in association with these chips.
Then they were gone. I can't tell you how sad I was. I can tell you that I actually took the time to write Keebler a letter about it, but I never recieved a response. I learned that they were being made by another company (Poore Brothers) and then they too stopped making them.
Now I've found them in the vending machine of the break room where I work. It is still apparently Poore Brothers, but they have the name "The Inventure Group". The machine is only stocked with Cheese Pizza flavor, but still, they are delicious. They aren't, as far as I can tell, exactly the same as the ones I used to get. Firstly, these are round with scored marks that make them like pizza slices, the original Keebler Pizzarias were just triangular. Also, and I could be wrong on this, but I think the flavor is just a tad different. Of course, that could be the fact that they are Cheese only, or it could be that I'm now a couple decades older.
The problem is that I hate spending 95¢ on each little bag I get, but it seems they either don't distribute larger bags, or at least don't distribute them to stores in my area.
It's frustrating.
It's also more than just a little silly, I know that. I'm sure, though, that you might be able to identify with me in some way. Think back to a time when there was something that you used to eat and now you don't and you miss it.
The iRing?
My first question was, "Are you serious?" My next question was, "Why?"
You should be able to derive a conclusion that tells you that I think the iRing is one of the stupidest iPod accessories that I've ever seen. Still nothing compared to the iVibrator I've mentioned before, but still, very stupid.
Yet, and I really hate to admit this, I find it somewhat compelling.
Now I feel dirty...
The Weighted Companion Cube
As I may have mentioned, I really love the game Portal. The story and gameplay are brilliant and the whole concept is just great.
One of the funnier pieces to the story is the 'Weighted Companion Cube' which is a block you get that you must bring through one of the levels. It's used to keep from getting hit by deadly balls of energy and as a weight to hold down switches.
The stylization is great, and it became a bit of an icon from the game. Because it became an icon, it seems someone decided to design a brilliant case mod.
I can't say that it's the most practical design, but it still looks like a fun weekend project.
Man Eats Bear!
My good buddy Mike has set up a new blog. It's creative and brilliant. His writing style is always fun. He's also added some of his older 'myspace' posts so that it doesn't look so barren.
Go check it out, and subscribe to the thing, it's well worth it.
Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles
Very good, just watched the first two episodes, and I'll be watching the third in just a bit. It's excellent so far, though I'm still having a little trouble with a 'new Sarah' even though I can handle a 'new John'.
Can't say I don't like the addition of Summer Glau though. It's good filler until a new Heroes season shows up.
Watch episodes on Fox.com.
That's it...
Again, for now. I'll be posting more soon though.
And with that...
Pizzaria Chips
I have to state emphatically that this bit will probably only interest a few people.
I loved Pizzaria chips. It was one of the few things that I would beg my mom for every time we went to the store, and for the most part, she would willingly cave in and buy me some even though they were horribly over priced in comparison to other chip brands in the aisle.
If you're not familiar with these, they are / were a pizza flavored chip made by Keebler. They were made from actual pizza dough, and then dusted with actual pizza flavoring. They came in a variety of pizza flavors, my favorite being "supreme".
Perhaps it's just memories of sitting on the couch and stuffing handfuls of these things down my gullet while watching Darkwing Duck and Ducktales, but I can't remember an unhappy time in association with these chips.
Then they were gone. I can't tell you how sad I was. I can tell you that I actually took the time to write Keebler a letter about it, but I never recieved a response. I learned that they were being made by another company (Poore Brothers) and then they too stopped making them.
Now I've found them in the vending machine of the break room where I work. It is still apparently Poore Brothers, but they have the name "The Inventure Group". The machine is only stocked with Cheese Pizza flavor, but still, they are delicious. They aren't, as far as I can tell, exactly the same as the ones I used to get. Firstly, these are round with scored marks that make them like pizza slices, the original Keebler Pizzarias were just triangular. Also, and I could be wrong on this, but I think the flavor is just a tad different. Of course, that could be the fact that they are Cheese only, or it could be that I'm now a couple decades older.
The problem is that I hate spending 95¢ on each little bag I get, but it seems they either don't distribute larger bags, or at least don't distribute them to stores in my area.
It's frustrating.
It's also more than just a little silly, I know that. I'm sure, though, that you might be able to identify with me in some way. Think back to a time when there was something that you used to eat and now you don't and you miss it.
The iRing?
My first question was, "Are you serious?" My next question was, "Why?"
You should be able to derive a conclusion that tells you that I think the iRing is one of the stupidest iPod accessories that I've ever seen. Still nothing compared to the iVibrator I've mentioned before, but still, very stupid.
Yet, and I really hate to admit this, I find it somewhat compelling.
Now I feel dirty...
The Weighted Companion Cube
As I may have mentioned, I really love the game Portal. The story and gameplay are brilliant and the whole concept is just great.
One of the funnier pieces to the story is the 'Weighted Companion Cube' which is a block you get that you must bring through one of the levels. It's used to keep from getting hit by deadly balls of energy and as a weight to hold down switches.
The stylization is great, and it became a bit of an icon from the game. Because it became an icon, it seems someone decided to design a brilliant case mod.
I can't say that it's the most practical design, but it still looks like a fun weekend project.
Man Eats Bear!
My good buddy Mike has set up a new blog. It's creative and brilliant. His writing style is always fun. He's also added some of his older 'myspace' posts so that it doesn't look so barren.
Go check it out, and subscribe to the thing, it's well worth it.
Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles
Very good, just watched the first two episodes, and I'll be watching the third in just a bit. It's excellent so far, though I'm still having a little trouble with a 'new Sarah' even though I can handle a 'new John'.
Can't say I don't like the addition of Summer Glau though. It's good filler until a new Heroes season shows up.
Watch episodes on Fox.com.
That's it...
Again, for now. I'll be posting more soon though.
Monday, January 21, 2008
Meandering about...
Again, today, it's inhumanely cold. Perhaps even inhumanly. Either way, it's cold out there, and again I'm questioning why I still live in Minnesota. Of course, I'm sure the grass is always greener on the other side, or at least the thermometer always reads higher on the other side, lord knows that somewhere warm might be nice now, but come summer I'd be complaining and looking for a more temperate climate again...
There's a lot of stuff to cover today, so it's probably best if I just roll into it.
Competition for the MacBook Air? Here comes a new Thinkpad!
Today, it seems, we get to take a peek at something so great that words almost fail me. The new Lenovo Thinkpad x300. Gizmodo has all the details. What I find interesting is that this unit is nearly the same size (except for the minimum depth) but has so many more features than the MacBook Air. I'm sure it won't be long until there is some sort of side by side breakdown, but I'm sure the advantages are obvious.
Basically, we're talking about a machine with better resolution (1440x900 vs. 1280x800), faster processor (2.0ghz C2D vs. 1.6Ghz), twice the ram (4GB vs 2GB), more features, including an optical drive, ssd (without the extra $1000?), Verizon / Cingular / Vodafone support, WiMax, GPS, more than 1 usb port, gigabeat ethernet, modem, and a fingerprint reader...
All that under 2.5 lbs.
Two AI Pioneers. Two Bizarre Suicides.
Wired ran a very interesting story about two Artificial Intelligence pioneers, prominent on the internet, who both committed suicide within 4 weeks of each other. The story is well written and features inline citations which makes it easy to follow the piece without having to click all around the internet.
Overall I think the piece is really great, but I'm a bit frustrated with the fact that the title is "Two AI Pioneers. Two Bizarre Suicides. What really happened?" The reason for that frustration is that there really aren't any answers to the questions included in the title. I can't say that I'm surprised, it's a common tactic when titling a piece.
Either way, it's still worth reading.
Transorbital Frontal Lobotomy
I have to admit that there's a lot of things that I don't want done to me. One of those things is a Frontal Lobotomy.
I've always been amazed at some of the strange things that were done in the name of medicine over the years. There's always been crude implements and mis-informed decisions. From leeches (which are making a comeback) to vibrators and everything in between, there's been some bizarre ideas. But, there are few things, I think, that make less sense than removing a portion of the brain.
I'm not saying that we are in some sort of medical utopia now, I'm certain there are many things that we're doing now that, many years from now, doctors of the future will talk of the idiotic and backwards methods of medicine we were performing. "Jesus," they'll say, "I can't believe they used to use defribulators." They'd pause and then say, "If only they had realized the power of sunflower seeds."
NPR ran an interesting story about one man who was lobotomized as a child of 12, and, some 40 years later he decided he wanted to know the truth about how and why it was done.
Choke
Chuck Palahniuk's Choke is happening. I'm eager. I have a lot of questions that I don't think will be answered until I've seen it.
I'll have more thoughts as we get closer to actually being able to see the thing. I've got some reservations about Clark Gregg, but it appears that he has a good deal passion for the project. There seems to be a stylistic decision about the colors, and I'm not 100% certain that I like it. I think it will work out in the end. It's always hard to see a novel made into a film, so as usual, I have doubts, fear and hope.
The Dangers of Free
Here we have a mildly interesting piece about the fact that there is no such things as free. It's always funny to me to see something like this. Here we have someone waking up to a fact that I've pretty much always taken for granted. Certainly that probably makes me sounds like a cynic, because I've always looked for the hook, the catch, the place where I lose out. This is probably because I am a cynic.
After reading the previous paragraph I feel like I'm sounding unnecessarily superior. That's not my intent at all, I'm trying to illustrate the fact that there are some things that I feel everyone knows, and that I am a cynical pessimist, which is why I tend to see the world differently.
Either way, if it turns out that you don't think the world is out to get you, you might find the article interesting, because, as the author points out, the world pretty much is out to get you.
The Mars Volta
The Mars Volta's new album, The Bedlam in Goliath is due out Jan. 29th. I've gotten a chance to listen to it a little ahead of schedule, and I have to say that they've still got everything that makes them one of the greatest bands on the planet.
Admittedly, I don't get a lot of what they're trying to do, but I certainly enjoy the process. I enjoy the fact that there's always a lot to try and intake with each track, and each track blends seamlessly with the next. It's just brilliant.
Mike had this to say:
I have to say that he's hit the nail quite on the head, as usual.
Come January 29th the album will be available. Amazon is even offering it on a flash drive, for which I'm eager to see the design and brand information.
I urge you to seek out The Mars Volta and let them take you on a journey. The power and emotion of the music, the driving, pounding, thick and almost sensory devastating tracks are something to savor... over and over again.
With that...
I've blogged past my bed time again... dammit. Oh well, sleep is for the weak, and the dead. Prepare yourself for my return.
There's a lot of stuff to cover today, so it's probably best if I just roll into it.
Competition for the MacBook Air? Here comes a new Thinkpad!
Today, it seems, we get to take a peek at something so great that words almost fail me. The new Lenovo Thinkpad x300. Gizmodo has all the details. What I find interesting is that this unit is nearly the same size (except for the minimum depth) but has so many more features than the MacBook Air. I'm sure it won't be long until there is some sort of side by side breakdown, but I'm sure the advantages are obvious.
Basically, we're talking about a machine with better resolution (1440x900 vs. 1280x800), faster processor (2.0ghz C2D vs. 1.6Ghz), twice the ram (4GB vs 2GB), more features, including an optical drive, ssd (without the extra $1000?), Verizon / Cingular / Vodafone support, WiMax, GPS, more than 1 usb port, gigabeat ethernet, modem, and a fingerprint reader...
All that under 2.5 lbs.
Two AI Pioneers. Two Bizarre Suicides.
Wired ran a very interesting story about two Artificial Intelligence pioneers, prominent on the internet, who both committed suicide within 4 weeks of each other. The story is well written and features inline citations which makes it easy to follow the piece without having to click all around the internet.
Overall I think the piece is really great, but I'm a bit frustrated with the fact that the title is "Two AI Pioneers. Two Bizarre Suicides. What really happened?" The reason for that frustration is that there really aren't any answers to the questions included in the title. I can't say that I'm surprised, it's a common tactic when titling a piece.
Either way, it's still worth reading.
Transorbital Frontal Lobotomy
I have to admit that there's a lot of things that I don't want done to me. One of those things is a Frontal Lobotomy.
I've always been amazed at some of the strange things that were done in the name of medicine over the years. There's always been crude implements and mis-informed decisions. From leeches (which are making a comeback) to vibrators and everything in between, there's been some bizarre ideas. But, there are few things, I think, that make less sense than removing a portion of the brain.
I'm not saying that we are in some sort of medical utopia now, I'm certain there are many things that we're doing now that, many years from now, doctors of the future will talk of the idiotic and backwards methods of medicine we were performing. "Jesus," they'll say, "I can't believe they used to use defribulators." They'd pause and then say, "If only they had realized the power of sunflower seeds."
NPR ran an interesting story about one man who was lobotomized as a child of 12, and, some 40 years later he decided he wanted to know the truth about how and why it was done.
Choke
Chuck Palahniuk's Choke is happening. I'm eager. I have a lot of questions that I don't think will be answered until I've seen it.
I'll have more thoughts as we get closer to actually being able to see the thing. I've got some reservations about Clark Gregg, but it appears that he has a good deal passion for the project. There seems to be a stylistic decision about the colors, and I'm not 100% certain that I like it. I think it will work out in the end. It's always hard to see a novel made into a film, so as usual, I have doubts, fear and hope.
The Dangers of Free
Here we have a mildly interesting piece about the fact that there is no such things as free. It's always funny to me to see something like this. Here we have someone waking up to a fact that I've pretty much always taken for granted. Certainly that probably makes me sounds like a cynic, because I've always looked for the hook, the catch, the place where I lose out. This is probably because I am a cynic.
After reading the previous paragraph I feel like I'm sounding unnecessarily superior. That's not my intent at all, I'm trying to illustrate the fact that there are some things that I feel everyone knows, and that I am a cynical pessimist, which is why I tend to see the world differently.
Either way, if it turns out that you don't think the world is out to get you, you might find the article interesting, because, as the author points out, the world pretty much is out to get you.
The Mars Volta
The Mars Volta's new album, The Bedlam in Goliath is due out Jan. 29th. I've gotten a chance to listen to it a little ahead of schedule, and I have to say that they've still got everything that makes them one of the greatest bands on the planet.
Admittedly, I don't get a lot of what they're trying to do, but I certainly enjoy the process. I enjoy the fact that there's always a lot to try and intake with each track, and each track blends seamlessly with the next. It's just brilliant.
Mike had this to say:
The way Aberinkula goes right in to Metatron is insane. The thing I love about this band is the way they sort of take you on a journey. I know that sounds gay as hell, but it really is sort of like the Mars Volta bus stops in front of your house, you hop on, and you go for a ride for an hour or more. It's just the way every song fits perfectly together and the album never lets up. It has highs and lows, but there's no 3 second gap between singles. It's not 2-minute single, 3-minute single, 2-minute single, etc. It's, "Here's an hour-long opus of the craziest shit you'll ever hear. Enjoy, fucker."
I have to say that he's hit the nail quite on the head, as usual.
Come January 29th the album will be available. Amazon is even offering it on a flash drive, for which I'm eager to see the design and brand information.
I urge you to seek out The Mars Volta and let them take you on a journey. The power and emotion of the music, the driving, pounding, thick and almost sensory devastating tracks are something to savor... over and over again.
With that...
I've blogged past my bed time again... dammit. Oh well, sleep is for the weak, and the dead. Prepare yourself for my return.
Saturday, January 19, 2008
Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
I haven't got much to say today except that it is ungodly cold. It is the sort of weather that dictates that you should cuddle up in a big blanket with your sweetheart in front of a roaring fire... possibly sipping wine or at least hot chocolate...
I wish I could say that I had a roaring fire. I do not. As a matter of fact, this lovely Saturday morning with its -40 degree wind chills, I'm at work, wondering why anyone in their right mind would willingly go out in this weather. I just can't fathom it. But people drive by, they go into various retailers, they go about their days and it seems that they're doing it willingly. Left to my own devices, I would never have gotten out of bed. I guess that's just me.
I Can Has Rezearch Papar?
I have to admit that I frequently laugh at those things called memes. Whether it be "lolcats" or just some clever image at the end of a forum post that says, "Internet. Serious business." I can't help myself, no matter how superior I want to feel over everyone else, I still find much of the idiocy of the internet funny.
Sir Cyle Gage Ph.D., Interweb Memeticist has actually written a fairly interesting paper all about the interwebs and what you'll find there. "I Can Has Rezearch Papar?" is funny and sheds some insight into the world of the intertubes.
I found it funny anyway.
I also found this funny.
And I'm done for now...
with any luck, though, I might be back.
I wish I could say that I had a roaring fire. I do not. As a matter of fact, this lovely Saturday morning with its -40 degree wind chills, I'm at work, wondering why anyone in their right mind would willingly go out in this weather. I just can't fathom it. But people drive by, they go into various retailers, they go about their days and it seems that they're doing it willingly. Left to my own devices, I would never have gotten out of bed. I guess that's just me.
I Can Has Rezearch Papar?
I have to admit that I frequently laugh at those things called memes. Whether it be "lolcats" or just some clever image at the end of a forum post that says, "Internet. Serious business." I can't help myself, no matter how superior I want to feel over everyone else, I still find much of the idiocy of the internet funny.
Sir Cyle Gage Ph.D., Interweb Memeticist has actually written a fairly interesting paper all about the interwebs and what you'll find there. "I Can Has Rezearch Papar?" is funny and sheds some insight into the world of the intertubes.
I found it funny anyway.
I also found this funny.
And I'm done for now...
with any luck, though, I might be back.
Thank you movie gods.....
I'm can't express how relieved I am that Cloverfield didn't suck. In addition to Cloverfield not sucking, Once turned out to be quite brilliant as well. If you're ready, I'll tell you all about it.
Cloverfield
Wow, this movie didn't disappoint. It was, for what it was, nearly flawless.
If you're not aware, the movie is a fusion of the classic monster genre, and the Blair Witch Project. Basically, Rob is leaving New York for a new job in Japan. His brother, Jason, and his girlfriend, Lily, and numerous friends throw him a huge surprise party, while his best friend (Hud) spends the duration of the party recording 'testimonials' as are done during weddings. During the party, all hell breaks loose when an enormous creature attacks New York City.
There's some background on Rob's relationship with Beth told through occasional clips of their last day together weeks before when the footage is stopped, which does a pretty reasonable job of stitching together Rob and Beth, who shows up at the party with a new boyfriend, and just as quickly departs before the attacks take place.
Rob, Jason, Hud, Lily, and a girl which Hud is attracted to end up trying to travel together in the struggle to escape the city. Everything is told from the point of view of the camera that Hudson is still diligently hanging onto. The sense of urgency is amazing, the visuals are incredible, and due to the well coordinated shakes, the moments of frenzy when Hudson must be more focused on running, or hiding, than shooting, you spend much of the movie on the edge of your seat hoping that he'll turn the camera back.
My biggest fear had been that we may not get to see the creature, or that we would only ever catch a glimpse of it at the end, however, though fears were unfounded, and as it turns out, we get plenty of good views of the creature as the film progresses.
I have but 2 complaints.
First: Hudson's character is maddeningly stupid. He doesn't often really get to show it, and I'm certain that the goal of actor T.J. Miller was to portray him as the big, dumb, lovable, slightly drunk guy. Unfortunately, through most of his interactions, he seems to come off as only dumb. His character ends up being a doofus, and one that I didn't really find lovable.
Second: I was left with a feeling of wanting more. There was some oppurtunity during the movie to answer more questions, but in the vein of Lost a lot of the story was simply left out out so that you are forced to wonder what happened. I hope not to give too much away with this, but I mean to say, you don't know where the creature came from, or if the military ever truly stopped it.
The last thing I didn't really like, but I wouldn't really call a complaint was that after a certain point in the movie, they removed the time/date stamp from the video. I feel like this was done to help prevent anyone noticing in-continuities of time in the story. I do have to admit, however, that I was very impressed with the fact that the tape was run for exactly 90 minutes, it seems, which is a pretty brilliant editing job, in my opinion.
Overall, I think this is one of the few movies to come out of late that deserves all of it's hype. It's excellent in so many ways, and well worth the time invested to watch it. I'm hoping to see it again very soon, just see those things I missed when I blinked.
Once
I'm not normally a fan of musicals. That isn't to say that I don't like them, I just usually don't feel the need to watch, or re-watch them, unlike some people that seem to think they are the most perfect genre, and want to devour them like some kind of meal. For this reason, I was somewhat leery when going into Once.
I was thankful, then, to find that the music is spectacular and not even remotely what you'd normally hear in a musical, and that this movie doesn't also follow in traditional musical's footsteps. It forges its own path, and I was glad to follow along.
The movie is about a an Irish Singer / Songwriter who works the street for money and meets a lovely young immigrant girl, who begins to talking to him. This is not, however, your typical love story. It's surprisingly honest and simple in its storytelling. We follow them through the week as he decides to record an album and use her as piano and back-up vocals.
The beauty is in the way that events unfold, and the way we're treated to both of their broken hearts and their eventual love, which doesn't, by the way, culminate in passionate love making or even what you'd normally call a romance in a movie. It is, however, a love that is quite real.
Overall, the acting is spectacular, the songwriting is solid, and the music itself if just phenomenal (I'm looking for the soundtrack, as a matter of fact). The nuances of this film are make it such a pleasure to watch, and the great music are what it fuck to listen too.
That's it...
for now. I've always got so much more that I'd love to write. I could, actually, go on for hours describing everything that's happening, whether it's happening in my mind, in the news, or in the world immediately surrounding me, yet I find it impossible to continue my battle against sleep. One day, I hope, I will be able to best the foul beast. Until such time, you'll have to settle for Blog posts that are less that 50,000 words.
So, while the dim light will soon be extiguished on the bed side table, and the fan in my laptop will soon be silenced with it falls into a deep slumber, so shall I meet them both on the otherside. And to you all, I wish you a good night.
Cloverfield
Wow, this movie didn't disappoint. It was, for what it was, nearly flawless.
If you're not aware, the movie is a fusion of the classic monster genre, and the Blair Witch Project. Basically, Rob is leaving New York for a new job in Japan. His brother, Jason, and his girlfriend, Lily, and numerous friends throw him a huge surprise party, while his best friend (Hud) spends the duration of the party recording 'testimonials' as are done during weddings. During the party, all hell breaks loose when an enormous creature attacks New York City.
There's some background on Rob's relationship with Beth told through occasional clips of their last day together weeks before when the footage is stopped, which does a pretty reasonable job of stitching together Rob and Beth, who shows up at the party with a new boyfriend, and just as quickly departs before the attacks take place.
Rob, Jason, Hud, Lily, and a girl which Hud is attracted to end up trying to travel together in the struggle to escape the city. Everything is told from the point of view of the camera that Hudson is still diligently hanging onto. The sense of urgency is amazing, the visuals are incredible, and due to the well coordinated shakes, the moments of frenzy when Hudson must be more focused on running, or hiding, than shooting, you spend much of the movie on the edge of your seat hoping that he'll turn the camera back.
My biggest fear had been that we may not get to see the creature, or that we would only ever catch a glimpse of it at the end, however, though fears were unfounded, and as it turns out, we get plenty of good views of the creature as the film progresses.
I have but 2 complaints.
First: Hudson's character is maddeningly stupid. He doesn't often really get to show it, and I'm certain that the goal of actor T.J. Miller was to portray him as the big, dumb, lovable, slightly drunk guy. Unfortunately, through most of his interactions, he seems to come off as only dumb. His character ends up being a doofus, and one that I didn't really find lovable.
Second: I was left with a feeling of wanting more. There was some oppurtunity during the movie to answer more questions, but in the vein of Lost a lot of the story was simply left out out so that you are forced to wonder what happened. I hope not to give too much away with this, but I mean to say, you don't know where the creature came from, or if the military ever truly stopped it.
The last thing I didn't really like, but I wouldn't really call a complaint was that after a certain point in the movie, they removed the time/date stamp from the video. I feel like this was done to help prevent anyone noticing in-continuities of time in the story. I do have to admit, however, that I was very impressed with the fact that the tape was run for exactly 90 minutes, it seems, which is a pretty brilliant editing job, in my opinion.
Overall, I think this is one of the few movies to come out of late that deserves all of it's hype. It's excellent in so many ways, and well worth the time invested to watch it. I'm hoping to see it again very soon, just see those things I missed when I blinked.
Once
I'm not normally a fan of musicals. That isn't to say that I don't like them, I just usually don't feel the need to watch, or re-watch them, unlike some people that seem to think they are the most perfect genre, and want to devour them like some kind of meal. For this reason, I was somewhat leery when going into Once.
I was thankful, then, to find that the music is spectacular and not even remotely what you'd normally hear in a musical, and that this movie doesn't also follow in traditional musical's footsteps. It forges its own path, and I was glad to follow along.
The movie is about a an Irish Singer / Songwriter who works the street for money and meets a lovely young immigrant girl, who begins to talking to him. This is not, however, your typical love story. It's surprisingly honest and simple in its storytelling. We follow them through the week as he decides to record an album and use her as piano and back-up vocals.
The beauty is in the way that events unfold, and the way we're treated to both of their broken hearts and their eventual love, which doesn't, by the way, culminate in passionate love making or even what you'd normally call a romance in a movie. It is, however, a love that is quite real.
Overall, the acting is spectacular, the songwriting is solid, and the music itself if just phenomenal (I'm looking for the soundtrack, as a matter of fact). The nuances of this film are make it such a pleasure to watch, and the great music are what it fuck to listen too.
That's it...
for now. I've always got so much more that I'd love to write. I could, actually, go on for hours describing everything that's happening, whether it's happening in my mind, in the news, or in the world immediately surrounding me, yet I find it impossible to continue my battle against sleep. One day, I hope, I will be able to best the foul beast. Until such time, you'll have to settle for Blog posts that are less that 50,000 words.
So, while the dim light will soon be extiguished on the bed side table, and the fan in my laptop will soon be silenced with it falls into a deep slumber, so shall I meet them both on the otherside. And to you all, I wish you a good night.
Friday, January 18, 2008
If you can believe...
Posting more than once during the course of a day is very unusual, but I urge you not to panic about it. I really just have a couple more things to add...
The Hunting Party
I had the pleasure of watching the movie The Hunting Party this evening, and I have to say that it was one of the best movies I've seen in a while (that I hadn't heard of before).
First, I was intrigued from the beginning by something about the movie that felt very familiar, it wasn't until later, after visiting the great iMDb that I discovered that it was written and directed by Richard Shepard, who was also responsible for the film "The Matador", which, to me anyway, stood out quite clearly in it's uniqueness. To help frame what I am saying here, I also really enjoyed "The Matador" and a lot of the reason for that is because it had a rather unique styling.
So, on to the actual movie. The Hunting Party is, supposedly, based on a 'true story'. The problem is that the entire film is just plain hard to swallow. If some of it was true, then it's a great story, if all of it were true, then it's an amazing story, and if none of it were true, then it is just plain good writing, and I think that is what I really enjoyed about it.
The acting is brilliant all around, Richard Gere delivers brilliantly, as usual, by playing an eccentric war new correspondent (Simon Hunt), fired because of an on-air outburst while covering a particularly tragic event in Sarajavo. His former partner and cameraman, 'Duck' (Terrance Howard, a man that I've yet seen deliver a poor role), is promoted and given a cushy job in New York for the network while Simon basically fades into obscurity. Fast forward 5 years and the pair meet up, Simon is excited to find 'The Fox', the legendary war criminal, most wanted man in Bosnia, which the CIA, the Hague, NATO and the UN can't seem to find. Then we add in Benjamin (Jesse Eisenburg), the fresh from Harvard son of a Network VP, out to prove to his father that he has what it takes to be a hard hitting journalist, and suddently we have an adventure for our motley crew.
Through an interesting series of events, they actually manage to track down the Fox...
The story is hard to believe, but incredibly fun to watch, and there's a lot of story to enjoy. Overall, I have to recommend it because it leaves you feeling good, there's a lot of laughs and plenty of tension throughout, and even in moments where nothing exciting is really happening, you're still deftly coerced toward the edge of your seat. It's just good film making.
Writer
I've been meaning to mention 'writer' for a while now. I hate Blogger's user interface, and really hate their post editor. With a passion. A passion that burns deep within me. Even on a monitor capable of 1920x1200, they insist on giving you a window smaller than 640x480 to work in, and absolutely no way (that I've found) to change it. For a while I used an extension in Firefox that allowed me to change the size of the text box, but somehow, Blogger's team managed to even make that impossible.
So I had been using Notepad to make my posts, but that meant that I still needed to go back to that damn blogger window to add all of my hyper links and things (I use another extension that makes it much easier than hand coding them all).
Meanwhile, I found writer.
Now, I'm sure you're thinking: I know you like online Apps and things, why wouldn't you just use your precious Google Docs & Spreadsheets and publish from there?
The answer is simple: Google Docs sucks for posting to blogger. First, the extension that I use for adding html code doesn't work right inside of the Docs window, second, it doesn't work in plain text mode, only formatted ansi, so everything ends up exactly as I type it, even overriding the CSS of the page, and third... well, the damn thing has never posted anything quite right. Also, for some reason Google Docs is blocked by the firewall where I work, and so I can't use it or Blogger to post anything there, should I want to.
So, I found writer, and being a big fan of online apps like you say, I found it perfect. It works like Dark Room (which is also an incredible piece of software that I highly recommend to anyone that needs to focus on writing), which is a huge plus because it cuts way down on distractions. It works in plain text, keeps everything saved automatically, is easy to read, big enough, and it's free. It's also great for anyone who just needs to write without having to worry constantly about font size, shape and color. Something else that's absolutely brilliant about Writer is that it doesn't post anything directly to your blog, but instead it actually saves it as a draft.
It's great, and it works with Blogger, TypePad, Movable Type, Live Journal, and Wordpress.
With that...
however, I must bid you, adieu. Whatever that means....
Until next time...
The Hunting Party
I had the pleasure of watching the movie The Hunting Party this evening, and I have to say that it was one of the best movies I've seen in a while (that I hadn't heard of before).
First, I was intrigued from the beginning by something about the movie that felt very familiar, it wasn't until later, after visiting the great iMDb that I discovered that it was written and directed by Richard Shepard, who was also responsible for the film "The Matador", which, to me anyway, stood out quite clearly in it's uniqueness. To help frame what I am saying here, I also really enjoyed "The Matador" and a lot of the reason for that is because it had a rather unique styling.
So, on to the actual movie. The Hunting Party is, supposedly, based on a 'true story'. The problem is that the entire film is just plain hard to swallow. If some of it was true, then it's a great story, if all of it were true, then it's an amazing story, and if none of it were true, then it is just plain good writing, and I think that is what I really enjoyed about it.
The acting is brilliant all around, Richard Gere delivers brilliantly, as usual, by playing an eccentric war new correspondent (Simon Hunt), fired because of an on-air outburst while covering a particularly tragic event in Sarajavo. His former partner and cameraman, 'Duck' (Terrance Howard, a man that I've yet seen deliver a poor role), is promoted and given a cushy job in New York for the network while Simon basically fades into obscurity. Fast forward 5 years and the pair meet up, Simon is excited to find 'The Fox', the legendary war criminal, most wanted man in Bosnia, which the CIA, the Hague, NATO and the UN can't seem to find. Then we add in Benjamin (Jesse Eisenburg), the fresh from Harvard son of a Network VP, out to prove to his father that he has what it takes to be a hard hitting journalist, and suddently we have an adventure for our motley crew.
Through an interesting series of events, they actually manage to track down the Fox...
The story is hard to believe, but incredibly fun to watch, and there's a lot of story to enjoy. Overall, I have to recommend it because it leaves you feeling good, there's a lot of laughs and plenty of tension throughout, and even in moments where nothing exciting is really happening, you're still deftly coerced toward the edge of your seat. It's just good film making.
Writer
I've been meaning to mention 'writer' for a while now. I hate Blogger's user interface, and really hate their post editor. With a passion. A passion that burns deep within me. Even on a monitor capable of 1920x1200, they insist on giving you a window smaller than 640x480 to work in, and absolutely no way (that I've found) to change it. For a while I used an extension in Firefox that allowed me to change the size of the text box, but somehow, Blogger's team managed to even make that impossible.
So I had been using Notepad to make my posts, but that meant that I still needed to go back to that damn blogger window to add all of my hyper links and things (I use another extension that makes it much easier than hand coding them all).
Meanwhile, I found writer.
Now, I'm sure you're thinking: I know you like online Apps and things, why wouldn't you just use your precious Google Docs & Spreadsheets and publish from there?
The answer is simple: Google Docs sucks for posting to blogger. First, the extension that I use for adding html code doesn't work right inside of the Docs window, second, it doesn't work in plain text mode, only formatted ansi, so everything ends up exactly as I type it, even overriding the CSS of the page, and third... well, the damn thing has never posted anything quite right. Also, for some reason Google Docs is blocked by the firewall where I work, and so I can't use it or Blogger to post anything there, should I want to.
So, I found writer, and being a big fan of online apps like you say, I found it perfect. It works like Dark Room (which is also an incredible piece of software that I highly recommend to anyone that needs to focus on writing), which is a huge plus because it cuts way down on distractions. It works in plain text, keeps everything saved automatically, is easy to read, big enough, and it's free. It's also great for anyone who just needs to write without having to worry constantly about font size, shape and color. Something else that's absolutely brilliant about Writer is that it doesn't post anything directly to your blog, but instead it actually saves it as a draft.
It's great, and it works with Blogger, TypePad, Movable Type, Live Journal, and Wordpress.
With that...
however, I must bid you, adieu. Whatever that means....
Until next time...
Thursday, January 17, 2008
Of MacBooks and Dignity
So, the world is a buzz with talk of the new MacBook Air, and I find I don't really care. I'm not saying I don't find it incredible, but for the money, the trade off is too much. Having never really been a fan of Apple's proprietary nature, I dislike the lack of a user replaceable battery. I use my own optical drives too much to bid them farewell, and the price tag is far to high to be logical given the somewhat limited nature of the machine... (No, this isn't all we'll be discussing today...)
For what I would use it for, the ASUS EEE PC makes far more sense and far more capability in terms of features and cost. Sure, it isn't as thin, but thinness isn't the be all and end of all of the size factor.
So, if the price became more sensible, if they included the super drive, if they add more than 1 USB port, included 3G or at least Ethernet... then maybe, maybe I'd consider ditching this 15.4" behemoth I'm using now. Until then, I'll let the rich little AppleTards enjoy their (unnecessary) feeling of superiority.
Pandora
I came across Pandora some time back, and recalled the articles I'd read about the Music Genome Project, but I'd not had time full check them out. I now wish I had because I feel I've been missing out.
The concept is pretty ingenious: You enter a song or an artist you like and they build a 'station' of streaming music based on everything that makes that song a song, not just Genre and Artist, but Tone, Composition, Vocal style, and a plethora of other criteria.
It's been interesting hearing some of the work they compare to artists such as The Mars Volta and Radiohead, and it's opened me up to some artists I probably never would have heard of, while also playing stuff I already know and enjoy.
The only problem that I have with the site is that the player they use seems to be extremely resource intensive. I was playing music and found that my system seemed less responsive. As a test, I tried streaming on a different machine and found the same problem there. It's not a huge deal, but you wouldn't want to be trying to do anything else that requires your system to be stable.
Death Sentence
I finally got around to watching this movie. It was the epitome of stupid. I'm not saying that the movie wasn't watchable, there were just so many things that were completely unbelievable, there were times that I couldn't help just laugh out loud, and of course, I'm sure that wasn't the intention of the film writer.
The concept of the movie is that a VP of an insurance company has a happy family, 2 sons he loves, a good wife, nice house and cars. While taking his oldest son home from a hockey game in the city, they have to stop for gas and while the father pumps gas the son goes in to get himself a slushie. While in the store, some gang members bust in and in the process, he's killed as an initiation for some kid to join the game.
When the DA tells the dad they are going to make a deal for the kid to get 5-10 years, rather than the life the father wants, he claims it was too dark to see and lets the guy walk. Then, he goes after the kid himself, which leads to a stand off between the gang members and himself. The result is that his wife is killed, he's shot and his other son nearly dies.
Fresh from the hospital, he runs off and procures several guns and goes after the crew. Surprise of all surprises, he manages to wipe them all out.
What's frustrating is that this yupi manages to wield these weapons with such skill, while the punk kids who seem to use them on a regular basis can never seem to hit him.
The battle is fun to watch, certainly, and there's some pretty brutal violence and gore, which is always fun, but the fact that this one guy tracks these punks down and then takes them down on their home turf. Earlier in the film, they come after him, and in the ensuing brawl, they aren't able to kill him, as a matter of fact, when the first one closes in on him from the get go, his spidey senses seem to go off and he's able knock the gun from his hand, though he had no way of knowing what was coming.
Something else that is frustrating is the fact that the police seem completely incapable of doing their jobs. There's also far too much of an attempt to have 'touching moments' which are just not necessary and only serve to slow the story down more.
Most of the acting isn't terrible, but some of the characters are more than over the top, including the father of the punk gang's leader (Dan Goodman), who is supposed to be some kind of crime boss, his role is so ludicrous that you can't imagine how his kid hasn't killed him years ago, let alone any of the other people he's probably ever talked to. The only acting that really drives me crazy is the 'detective' (Aisha Taylor) who seems incapable of acting herself out of a paper bag. What's strange is that I've seen some of her other work and never found it that offensive, but this just made me want to throw things.
Overall, I just don't think it's worth seeing. Certainly, your mileage may vary, but I'm kinda wishing that I had my 2 hours back.
Cloverfield
Tomorrow I will see Cloverfield. I've been excited about this, but trying not to get my hopes up, but a fried of mine saw an advanced screening the other night, and called to tell me that it's pretty darn good, which means that my excitement level is now through the roof. I hate getting my hopes up, it just makes my disappointment so much more robust.
Here's to hoping, I suppose.
Neil Gaiman Short Story
I love when an author is so prolific that they're willing to publish some of their works on the interwebs. Neil Gaiman is one of those author's. I've enjoyed a great deal of his stuff in the past, so when I get a chance to devour more of his work, I'll jump at it.
So, when I stumbled upon "How to Talk to Girls at Parties" I was glad for another opportunity to enjoy his work. To be honest, it's not his most brilliant piece ever, but it's still quite enjoyable. It's worth checking out, especially since it is free.
Rubber band Mini-Gun
Alright, this thing is just neat. Read about it at engadget.
And that's it for me....
we'll see you here next time... maybe.
For what I would use it for, the ASUS EEE PC makes far more sense and far more capability in terms of features and cost. Sure, it isn't as thin, but thinness isn't the be all and end of all of the size factor.
So, if the price became more sensible, if they included the super drive, if they add more than 1 USB port, included 3G or at least Ethernet... then maybe, maybe I'd consider ditching this 15.4" behemoth I'm using now. Until then, I'll let the rich little AppleTards enjoy their (unnecessary) feeling of superiority.
Pandora
I came across Pandora some time back, and recalled the articles I'd read about the Music Genome Project, but I'd not had time full check them out. I now wish I had because I feel I've been missing out.
The concept is pretty ingenious: You enter a song or an artist you like and they build a 'station' of streaming music based on everything that makes that song a song, not just Genre and Artist, but Tone, Composition, Vocal style, and a plethora of other criteria.
It's been interesting hearing some of the work they compare to artists such as The Mars Volta and Radiohead, and it's opened me up to some artists I probably never would have heard of, while also playing stuff I already know and enjoy.
The only problem that I have with the site is that the player they use seems to be extremely resource intensive. I was playing music and found that my system seemed less responsive. As a test, I tried streaming on a different machine and found the same problem there. It's not a huge deal, but you wouldn't want to be trying to do anything else that requires your system to be stable.
Death Sentence
I finally got around to watching this movie. It was the epitome of stupid. I'm not saying that the movie wasn't watchable, there were just so many things that were completely unbelievable, there were times that I couldn't help just laugh out loud, and of course, I'm sure that wasn't the intention of the film writer.
The concept of the movie is that a VP of an insurance company has a happy family, 2 sons he loves, a good wife, nice house and cars. While taking his oldest son home from a hockey game in the city, they have to stop for gas and while the father pumps gas the son goes in to get himself a slushie. While in the store, some gang members bust in and in the process, he's killed as an initiation for some kid to join the game.
When the DA tells the dad they are going to make a deal for the kid to get 5-10 years, rather than the life the father wants, he claims it was too dark to see and lets the guy walk. Then, he goes after the kid himself, which leads to a stand off between the gang members and himself. The result is that his wife is killed, he's shot and his other son nearly dies.
Fresh from the hospital, he runs off and procures several guns and goes after the crew. Surprise of all surprises, he manages to wipe them all out.
What's frustrating is that this yupi manages to wield these weapons with such skill, while the punk kids who seem to use them on a regular basis can never seem to hit him.
The battle is fun to watch, certainly, and there's some pretty brutal violence and gore, which is always fun, but the fact that this one guy tracks these punks down and then takes them down on their home turf. Earlier in the film, they come after him, and in the ensuing brawl, they aren't able to kill him, as a matter of fact, when the first one closes in on him from the get go, his spidey senses seem to go off and he's able knock the gun from his hand, though he had no way of knowing what was coming.
Something else that is frustrating is the fact that the police seem completely incapable of doing their jobs. There's also far too much of an attempt to have 'touching moments' which are just not necessary and only serve to slow the story down more.
Most of the acting isn't terrible, but some of the characters are more than over the top, including the father of the punk gang's leader (Dan Goodman), who is supposed to be some kind of crime boss, his role is so ludicrous that you can't imagine how his kid hasn't killed him years ago, let alone any of the other people he's probably ever talked to. The only acting that really drives me crazy is the 'detective' (Aisha Taylor) who seems incapable of acting herself out of a paper bag. What's strange is that I've seen some of her other work and never found it that offensive, but this just made me want to throw things.
Overall, I just don't think it's worth seeing. Certainly, your mileage may vary, but I'm kinda wishing that I had my 2 hours back.
Cloverfield
Tomorrow I will see Cloverfield. I've been excited about this, but trying not to get my hopes up, but a fried of mine saw an advanced screening the other night, and called to tell me that it's pretty darn good, which means that my excitement level is now through the roof. I hate getting my hopes up, it just makes my disappointment so much more robust.
Here's to hoping, I suppose.
Neil Gaiman Short Story
I love when an author is so prolific that they're willing to publish some of their works on the interwebs. Neil Gaiman is one of those author's. I've enjoyed a great deal of his stuff in the past, so when I get a chance to devour more of his work, I'll jump at it.
So, when I stumbled upon "How to Talk to Girls at Parties" I was glad for another opportunity to enjoy his work. To be honest, it's not his most brilliant piece ever, but it's still quite enjoyable. It's worth checking out, especially since it is free.
Rubber band Mini-Gun
Alright, this thing is just neat. Read about it at engadget.
And that's it for me....
we'll see you here next time... maybe.
Monday, January 14, 2008
Inevitably...
It's January of 2008. This means that in a month, I'll be 27 years old. I've come to the startling conclusion that, for all intents and purposes, I don't want to be 27. 27, to me, is far too close the 30 for comfort, and 30, to me, is when the universe comes to a screeching halt. Near as I can tell anyway...
Of course, I'm entirely serious, so all of you 30plusers out there can stop trying to type your angry emails with your gnarled arthritic fingers, trying to remember why you launched Outlook to begin with. (There I go, thinking someone actually reads this blog). I'm serious in that I've actually hit a point, already, where I'm just simply not wanting to get older, and it mostly has to do with the fact that I've not accomplished near as much as I've wanted to so far, and just a dash of the fact that I see it as a slippery slope toward death.
30, for some reason, looks like the true half way mark. For the most part, you don't see many sexagenarians going around having the rock and roll lifestyle. I am well aware of the exceptions to that rule, but the fact is that I've not taken good enough care of myself so far, and certainly don't see my habits changing enough in the foreseeable future that I'm pretty sure I will be your atypical 60 year old, completely feeble and out of touch with the world around me. My real hope is that when the time comes, my senility will be blissful.
Also, and forgive me for this, but I have some level of excitement that I'll likely then be able to get away with screaming at little kids for no reason, running around stark naked in the streets and just simply doing things that are contrary to social norms, and being an old codger will mean that people will just accept my insane behavior.
I certainly don't get away with any of it now, I can only hope I'll get to enjoy it.
On to other things.
I recently watched the movie "Before the Devil Knows You're Dead." I can't say it's the best movie I've seen lately, but it was certainly very good. The acting in the film is spectacular, and there are a great number of scenes where you're really able to feel the emotion being cast off. Phillip Seymour Hoffman is one of those guys I normally just don't like, but I have to admit that his role in this film was stellar. The story itself isn't exactly cutting edge, but it was fresh enough to make it enjoyable, and although the pace tends to drag a little at times, it still remained engaging enough. My only real complaint was that the story wasn't tied up much at the end.
Still, I would recommend seeing it. It's not exactly on par with those I think it was aspiring to be, such as "A Simple Plan," but still worth your time.
Also, there's more...
I also had the chance to watch "He Was a Quiet Man," which was another one of those movies that kind of hit me from left field. I'd never heard anything about it, and then there it was, in all of it's brilliance.
It's really hard to describe everything that makes this movie great. The acting was phenomenal, the story was well written, the actual cinematography stands out as well. The concept behind the movie is relatively fresh, and while not entirely over the top, just out there enough to be pleasing.
Overall, all I can really do is recommend taking the time to see this one. It's dark, twisted, funny, and has a few decent twists.
Meanwhile, back at the ranch...
Another movie I watched recently (and understand that I'm just trying to throw out some titles of lesser known movies that I think are worth watching), was "Black Irish."
This was a movie I'd never heard of before watching it, so I didn't know much going into it, except that it was clearly about a Black Irish family. I was very pleasantly surprised by the whole thing. Again, this isn't a movie that treads completely new and different ground, but it is still very touching, well written, meaningful, and well acted.
Information edited because I'm an idiot.
Meanwhile, the older brother in the movie, the troubled, angry one, is played by Tom Guiry, who played Jimmy Donnelly, the troubled, angry brother, on "The Black Donnellys," to which this movie doesn't even hold a candle.
The story follows Cole, the youngest boy of a Black Irish family, who, at the start, is seeking a life in the clergy. He's the younger brother of Terry, who's a rotten apple and Kathleen, the sister who's found herself pregnant. To pay for her boarding, they must take Cole out of the parochial school he attends, which he almost welcomes, being that he's more interested in baseball than the clergy. All along, he seems determined to win the favor of his father, a man who drinks constantly and seems unable to hold down a job. Mean while, his mother seems to be a stalwart pillar of the household, much to the disbelief of those around her.
It's a solid coming of age story, brilliant in its telling and acting, and one that is well worth watching. As I understand it, it's a tale that's many years in the making, and there is something to seeing someone's long held vision come to life that makes a movie just a little more satisfying.
Which leads me to...
Why can't I really love or hate any movies anymore? I mean, with the exception of "No Country for Old Men," I have a really hard time finding real love for movies. Perhaps it's my cynical old age, or perhaps it's the fact that I've just become downright picky, but it drives me crazy, to say the least.
I think the hardest thing for me is that I'm no longer the target demographic of most movies. I think I'm having a really hard time coming to grips with that. Most Hollywood blockbusters are written for someone other than me.
The other problem I seem to have is that I can't seem to feel good about anything that has a hint of regurgitation. I feel like every idea must have been exhausted by now, because every movie I see seems to be merely a re-take on something that's been done, and unless that's its purpose, it bothers me.
It's like watching a movie based on a novel you've read, you expect so much more than you get (with the exception, of course, of The Lord of the Rings Trilogy, which was brilliant).
I guess, with that...
I will depart for now. I'm amazed that I managed to find some time to blog. I miss blogging. It's so therapeutic.
Of course, I'm entirely serious, so all of you 30plusers out there can stop trying to type your angry emails with your gnarled arthritic fingers, trying to remember why you launched Outlook to begin with. (There I go, thinking someone actually reads this blog). I'm serious in that I've actually hit a point, already, where I'm just simply not wanting to get older, and it mostly has to do with the fact that I've not accomplished near as much as I've wanted to so far, and just a dash of the fact that I see it as a slippery slope toward death.
30, for some reason, looks like the true half way mark. For the most part, you don't see many sexagenarians going around having the rock and roll lifestyle. I am well aware of the exceptions to that rule, but the fact is that I've not taken good enough care of myself so far, and certainly don't see my habits changing enough in the foreseeable future that I'm pretty sure I will be your atypical 60 year old, completely feeble and out of touch with the world around me. My real hope is that when the time comes, my senility will be blissful.
Also, and forgive me for this, but I have some level of excitement that I'll likely then be able to get away with screaming at little kids for no reason, running around stark naked in the streets and just simply doing things that are contrary to social norms, and being an old codger will mean that people will just accept my insane behavior.
I certainly don't get away with any of it now, I can only hope I'll get to enjoy it.
On to other things.
I recently watched the movie "Before the Devil Knows You're Dead." I can't say it's the best movie I've seen lately, but it was certainly very good. The acting in the film is spectacular, and there are a great number of scenes where you're really able to feel the emotion being cast off. Phillip Seymour Hoffman is one of those guys I normally just don't like, but I have to admit that his role in this film was stellar. The story itself isn't exactly cutting edge, but it was fresh enough to make it enjoyable, and although the pace tends to drag a little at times, it still remained engaging enough. My only real complaint was that the story wasn't tied up much at the end.
Still, I would recommend seeing it. It's not exactly on par with those I think it was aspiring to be, such as "A Simple Plan," but still worth your time.
Also, there's more...
I also had the chance to watch "He Was a Quiet Man," which was another one of those movies that kind of hit me from left field. I'd never heard anything about it, and then there it was, in all of it's brilliance.
It's really hard to describe everything that makes this movie great. The acting was phenomenal, the story was well written, the actual cinematography stands out as well. The concept behind the movie is relatively fresh, and while not entirely over the top, just out there enough to be pleasing.
Overall, all I can really do is recommend taking the time to see this one. It's dark, twisted, funny, and has a few decent twists.
Meanwhile, back at the ranch...
Another movie I watched recently (and understand that I'm just trying to throw out some titles of lesser known movies that I think are worth watching), was "Black Irish."
This was a movie I'd never heard of before watching it, so I didn't know much going into it, except that it was clearly about a Black Irish family. I was very pleasantly surprised by the whole thing. Again, this isn't a movie that treads completely new and different ground, but it is still very touching, well written, meaningful, and well acted.
Information edited because I'm an idiot.
Meanwhile, the older brother in the movie, the troubled, angry one, is played by Tom Guiry, who played Jimmy Donnelly, the troubled, angry brother, on "The Black Donnellys," to which this movie doesn't even hold a candle.
The story follows Cole, the youngest boy of a Black Irish family, who, at the start, is seeking a life in the clergy. He's the younger brother of Terry, who's a rotten apple and Kathleen, the sister who's found herself pregnant. To pay for her boarding, they must take Cole out of the parochial school he attends, which he almost welcomes, being that he's more interested in baseball than the clergy. All along, he seems determined to win the favor of his father, a man who drinks constantly and seems unable to hold down a job. Mean while, his mother seems to be a stalwart pillar of the household, much to the disbelief of those around her.
It's a solid coming of age story, brilliant in its telling and acting, and one that is well worth watching. As I understand it, it's a tale that's many years in the making, and there is something to seeing someone's long held vision come to life that makes a movie just a little more satisfying.
Which leads me to...
Why can't I really love or hate any movies anymore? I mean, with the exception of "No Country for Old Men," I have a really hard time finding real love for movies. Perhaps it's my cynical old age, or perhaps it's the fact that I've just become downright picky, but it drives me crazy, to say the least.
I think the hardest thing for me is that I'm no longer the target demographic of most movies. I think I'm having a really hard time coming to grips with that. Most Hollywood blockbusters are written for someone other than me.
The other problem I seem to have is that I can't seem to feel good about anything that has a hint of regurgitation. I feel like every idea must have been exhausted by now, because every movie I see seems to be merely a re-take on something that's been done, and unless that's its purpose, it bothers me.
It's like watching a movie based on a novel you've read, you expect so much more than you get (with the exception, of course, of The Lord of the Rings Trilogy, which was brilliant).
I guess, with that...
I will depart for now. I'm amazed that I managed to find some time to blog. I miss blogging. It's so therapeutic.
Tuesday, January 1, 2008
My thoughts on 2007
It's now 2008.
And, as many people do, I feel somewhat compelled to look back on 2007 and wonder what's new and different now, apart from the fact that I have to remember to write 2008 instead of 2007 on everything, that is...
of course, I don't really understand the arbitrary calendar celebration.
I mean, why do we not reach July first and reflect on the first 6 months of the year? Why don't we consider how things are as of September 1st, when three-quarters of the year has past?
In most cases, when my birthday comes around, I usually consider the advent of another year of existence on this planet, which makes sense since it's the actual benchmark of my time so far. Why then do people always feel that they need to also celebrate this intermediary anniversary, based on the Gregorian Calender.
To the point, though.
The ball dropped (being rebroadcast, of course), and where I was, on the particular meridian of the planet, it was generally accepted that one year had ended and another begun. It was in that moment, clinking glasses, kissing my girlfriend, saying happy new year, I was able to take stock.
As it turns out, 2008 doesn't seem to be much different than 2007. I'm still in debt, and flat broke, all the problems of 2007, many of which were problems of 2006, and so on, stretching back throughout the time I've been alive.
Perhaps it's my own incompetence that has left me in the state I'm in, perhaps it is the fact that the world is out to get me. Either way, I'm not where I want to be, and try as I might, I don't seem to be getting anywhere fast.
So, of course, there begins my new year. On that note, resounding through my mind, reverberating throughout each deep corner of my skull. That doesn't mean that I don't have any joy, or happiness. I'm certainly bringing plenty of good things through with me into the new year, it's just hard to focus on that sometimes.
So, as of now, January 1st, 2008, all I can do is keep an eye on the future, live in the now, and try and deal with the past as best I can. Between the work and the hope, and possibly some luck, there's a chance that 2009 might find me less cynical at the start.
Movies
There's quite a few things to look forward to this year, including some excellent films.
There's a few decent lists out there, telling me what's coming.
I'm looking forward to a lot of the 'coming attractions,' knowing full well that hope usually equates to disappointment. One that I'm only lightly looking forward too is Cloverfield. I say that hoping you can understand what I mean. What I mean is that the first trailer I saw of this film left me feeling excited. Then I saw that J.J. Abrahms and Drew Goddard of Lost were involved (as it's a Bad Robot production, the company responsible for Lost), even the fact that Matt Reeve's directing experience seems limited only to a handful of episodes of Felicity and some other stuff I've never heard of (rather than just not seen), I thought, "wow". But, I'm trying not to get caught up, because it always happens that I see a trailer for something that looks good, then I go see the film and find that it's just cookie cutter, mass produced to make all the little kids and parents happy and that level of disappointment is really starting to get to me.
There's a lot of other films I'm looking forward as well, but, I'm sure you can check out the various lists yourself and see what's coming, and I'm sure you'll have your own movies to salivate over.
Other things
Another sour note is that I'm presently sick as a dog, which is a horrible way to ring in the new year.
It's also the reason why this entire post seems to be meandering so much, and it's also the reason I'm done typing....
now.
And, as many people do, I feel somewhat compelled to look back on 2007 and wonder what's new and different now, apart from the fact that I have to remember to write 2008 instead of 2007 on everything, that is...
of course, I don't really understand the arbitrary calendar celebration.
I mean, why do we not reach July first and reflect on the first 6 months of the year? Why don't we consider how things are as of September 1st, when three-quarters of the year has past?
In most cases, when my birthday comes around, I usually consider the advent of another year of existence on this planet, which makes sense since it's the actual benchmark of my time so far. Why then do people always feel that they need to also celebrate this intermediary anniversary, based on the Gregorian Calender.
To the point, though.
The ball dropped (being rebroadcast, of course), and where I was, on the particular meridian of the planet, it was generally accepted that one year had ended and another begun. It was in that moment, clinking glasses, kissing my girlfriend, saying happy new year, I was able to take stock.
As it turns out, 2008 doesn't seem to be much different than 2007. I'm still in debt, and flat broke, all the problems of 2007, many of which were problems of 2006, and so on, stretching back throughout the time I've been alive.
Perhaps it's my own incompetence that has left me in the state I'm in, perhaps it is the fact that the world is out to get me. Either way, I'm not where I want to be, and try as I might, I don't seem to be getting anywhere fast.
So, of course, there begins my new year. On that note, resounding through my mind, reverberating throughout each deep corner of my skull. That doesn't mean that I don't have any joy, or happiness. I'm certainly bringing plenty of good things through with me into the new year, it's just hard to focus on that sometimes.
So, as of now, January 1st, 2008, all I can do is keep an eye on the future, live in the now, and try and deal with the past as best I can. Between the work and the hope, and possibly some luck, there's a chance that 2009 might find me less cynical at the start.
Movies
There's quite a few things to look forward to this year, including some excellent films.
There's a few decent lists out there, telling me what's coming.
I'm looking forward to a lot of the 'coming attractions,' knowing full well that hope usually equates to disappointment. One that I'm only lightly looking forward too is Cloverfield. I say that hoping you can understand what I mean. What I mean is that the first trailer I saw of this film left me feeling excited. Then I saw that J.J. Abrahms and Drew Goddard of Lost were involved (as it's a Bad Robot production, the company responsible for Lost), even the fact that Matt Reeve's directing experience seems limited only to a handful of episodes of Felicity and some other stuff I've never heard of (rather than just not seen), I thought, "wow". But, I'm trying not to get caught up, because it always happens that I see a trailer for something that looks good, then I go see the film and find that it's just cookie cutter, mass produced to make all the little kids and parents happy and that level of disappointment is really starting to get to me.
There's a lot of other films I'm looking forward as well, but, I'm sure you can check out the various lists yourself and see what's coming, and I'm sure you'll have your own movies to salivate over.
Other things
Another sour note is that I'm presently sick as a dog, which is a horrible way to ring in the new year.
It's also the reason why this entire post seems to be meandering so much, and it's also the reason I'm done typing....
now.
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